Seven Years With Lily
by Lkay09
Summary: Seven years at Hogwarts with Lily Evans - as suffered through, witnessed, and felt by James Potter
1. Year One

**DISCLAIMER: **I'm not anywhere near cool enough to own this. It's all JK Rowling's – I just play with it when I'm bored.

**Year One**

He first saw her that day on the train. With _Snivellus_. Stupid greasy git. He thought she was cute but that she could use better taste in friends. Apparently she disagreed when he made her mad and she stormed off with Snape. It irked him, but he ignored it.

She was sorted into Gryffindor to his delight and Snape's horror. He tried to get her to sit with him and his friends, but she still seemed to be angry at him, so she stuck her nose in the air and sat with some other girls. He still thought she was pretty.

First year _really_ flew by – literally sometimes. He spent a lot of time flying when he could. Since first years weren't allowed their own brooms he flew on one of the school brooms, mostly wishing next year would hurry up and come so he could bring his Nimbus 1000 to school. Sometimes Sirius came with him, sometimes he flew by himself. He was lucky he was never caught, but he was also determined to make the House Quidditch team next year. He wished he could make it this year, but he knew McGonagall would never change the rules.

He and Evans had most of their classes together. He saw her a lot, but she always either had her nose in a book or she was with Snape, who apparently was her _best friend_. He still thought she was cute, but she always acted like he was something on the bottom of her shoe that she would really like to scrape off on a particularly sharp edge of the castle.

Sirius teased him _endlessly_ about his crush on Evans, but James just reciprocated by teasing him about the Ravenclaw third year that Sirius had a thing for. He shut up after that...well, for the most part.

He did pick on her sometimes. And Snape a lot. But all of his friends agreed that Snape deserved it.

Evans dropped from his radar for a few months following Remus's revelation. Sirius had figured it out by noticing that he went missing for a few days every month. They could never find him in the hospital wing, and he always made up some excuse about visiting an ill relative or something of the sort. But all three of them knew him well enough by now to know when he was lying. Finally, one day in November, they cornered him in the boys dormitory when their other roommate Andrew was gone.

It took a bit of doing but he finally admitted that he was a werewolf. He had thought that if he told them they would start avoiding him and he would lose the only real friends he had ever had. James had looked at the other three boys and seen his shock mirrored on each of their faces.

"Remus, how – how can you _think_ that? We are your best friends!" Sirius exclaimed indignantly. Remus muttered something in response.

"What did you say?" James demanded. Remus sighed.

"I said 'that doesn't matter'," he said dejectedly.

"Why doesn't it matter?" Peter squeaked from behind Sirius.

"Because…nobody wants to be friends with a werewolf. Even if we have been hanging round each other for a few months. This is how it always is. Someone finds out, then they say it's fine, but I start getting avoided, until finally my _friends_," he spat out the word, "stop speaking to me altogether. And I'm right back where I started. So please, make it easier for me and just walk out right now so we can skip the gradual avoidance steps."

He was completely thrown when James, followed by Sirius and Peter, grabbed him and hugged him tight.

After that, they had made absolutely sure that Remus was never excluded from their group. James hadn't really ever known what it was like to not have friends, but he knew that Remus did, and he didn't want him to feel that way ever again. James and the others spent so much time together that he even stopped annoying Evans and Snivellus so much. Not totally – a boy only had so much self-restraint – but enough to stop her and Snape reaching for their wands whenever they saw him.

He and his friends had decided to call themselves the Marauders. They became obsessed with playing pranks on people – mostly Snape, but mostly harmless – but they were never caught. They were talented wizards, even for first-years but nobody knew that. They didn't really _want_ anyone to know it. If their talent was suspected, then the pranks would be pinned on them. None of them were that idiotic.

Even though James refrained from picking on Evans as much, he still watched her whenever the opportunity presented itself. He sat slightly behind her Charms, but not so far back that he couldn't see her face. She was very good at Charms, and he enjoyed watching her face screw up in concentration. Her nose got really wrinkled. When she was distracted at dinner, she just pushed her food around her plate. She hated pumpkin juice and loved treacle tart. He never saw her touch a bite of her food during exam time before Christmas break.

She still annoyed him so much though. He could be sitting there, minding his own business in the common room – or so he told himself – and she would come along and make some rude remark and provoke him. She still had a horrible habit of defending Snape. Evans seemed _proud_ of the fact that he was her best friend, although none of the Marauders could understand why. He was a slimy, greasy, oily-haired git whose favorite way to pass time was looking up curses. Most of the curses he looked up were used against the Marauders. He picked on Peter to get a rise out of James and Sirius and occasionally Remus.

Evans stayed at Hogwarts over Christmas, same as him and Sirius. Snivellus left, to their relief, but James noticed that after the other students had left she seemed a bit dejected. He had tried to approach her and see if she was okay, but she just snapped at him and told him to leave her alone. And then she had turned and flounced up the stairs to the girls dormitory. He had watched her hair bounce, the light from the fire reflecting off it, making it shine an even brighter red. Unfortunately, Sirius had come into the common room at the time and seen him staring at Evans's hair. James didn't hear the end of it for at least a week.

She ignored him over break for the most part; he wasn't really surprised, but part of him had hoped that maybe without Snape around she would loosen up around him. No such luck.

The second half of the school year flew by even faster than the first half had. Snowball fights in January, Valentine's in February – he had sent Evans a small little heart, hoping it wouldn't be obvious it was from him. Again, no such luck. She had promptly thrown it into the fireplace and thrown him a scathing look across the room before turning and marching back up the stairs.

March brought slightly warmer weather and he and Sirius returned to flying. They both got a month's detention from McGonagall after bewitching Snape to sing in opera rather than speaking for two days. In April James went flying every day. He went back to annoying Evans whenever the mood struck him. May went by even quicker than the rest of the year and before he knew it, it was June and he and the Marauders were packing their trunks and taking the Hogwarts Express back to London.

James stood off to the side of the platform with the other Marauders. He wanted to introduce Remus and Peter to his mum and dad – they already knew Sirius. He watched Evans run off the train and into her mother's arms. Her father was there too, with another little girl who looked around at everything like it was disgusting. She wrinkled up her nose like Evans did, but _this_ girl clearly did it in distaste. He saw Snivellus hug Evans good-bye and he was disappointed that she still despised him so much.

But, he thought to himself, there were six more years of Hogwarts left, and she was stuck with him for all of them. That thought brightened his day considerably.

**A/N:** I am still figuring out how to post and edit and everything, so bear with me please! Anyway, this is chapter one, I hope you like – please review! I'm going to use _some_ of what JKR originally had in the books but other than that it's me and my overactive imagination at work!


	2. Year Two

**A/N: ** My friends and shrink have managed to convince me that I am not JK Rowling. Sadly, that means that I don't own any of this. Wait! I _do_ own the laptop I wrote it on! Does that count for something? No? Oh…ok…

**Year Two**

She was still insufferably rude and cute. He accidentally bumped into her on the train on the way back to his compartment and she reacted like he had some infectious disease. "Watch where you are going Potter," she had spat out before storming off to sit with Snivellus. Not the best way to start off his year. But he still had about nine months to aggravate her _and_ Snape, and he was looking forward to the challenge.

Quidditch Team tryouts were three weeks into term, and this time James had brought his own broom. He knew that the Seeker position was open, and he was desperately hoping that it wouldn't seem so ridiculous that a second year was trying out for it. The morning of tryouts he felt like he was going to vomit up everything he even thought about trying to eat. It only got worse when he got down to the pitch and saw a redhead sitting up in the stands. Evans was watching tryouts. Great, just _great_.

He made the team – he wasn't surprised. He _was_ surprised, however, when Evans came up to him and offered him a curt "Congratulations" – he didn't even care that she didn't mean it, or that she had probably said the same thing to everyone else who had made the team. James had the misfortune of having Sirius witness the goofy grin on his face and picking on him. And this time he somehow managed to get Remus in on it too. Peter even managed to get in a few jabs about what they had dubbed his 'Lily-love' and James just stood there, not really caring.

James also got his first girlfriend that year – unfortunately it was not Evans. Instead it was a pretty Hufflepuff named Amy Jones. They held hands for a few days and then just sort of fell apart. Nothing special. Sirius constantly joked about how proud he was of him for _finally_ getting a girl. Thankfully, Remus and Peter stayed out of that one.

The school began to suffer, once again, from Marauder pranks. Thanks to James's Invisibility Cloak, which his father had passed on to him, they could sneak around at night almost completely undetected. It was quite large enough to cover four small boys, even if James and Sirius were slightly tall for their age.

James's favorite prank that year – and Sirius's too – was probably the one where they turned all of Snivellus's robes hot pink and no spell he cast could fix them. Anything he tried just made it worse – one spell made the robes smell like flowers, another actually _made_ flowers appear on the robes. Needless to say, Evans did not find it that funny. After slapping James quite soundly (and painfully), she made him remove the spell or she would report them to McGonagall, and they both knew that McGonagall would take her word over that of James or Sirius in a heartbeat. James grudgingly removed the spell (after breakfast, of course), and then made the mistake of asking Evans _why_ she was friends with such a greasy Slytherin.

"That," she replied, her green eyes – such amazingly beautiful green eyes, James had always thought – turning even colder, "is absolutely _none_ of your business."

"But you're so much better than him Evans!"

"That is a matter of _your_ opinion, Potter. Sev is my best friend, and the way I see it, I could either be friends with him or I could be friends with an insufferable arrogant _idiot_ like you! I wonder what my choice will be?" she wondered sarcastically, before turning around and storming out of the hall after Snape. She didn't see the small look of hurt that flicked over James's features. It was just as well – even _he_ didn't know why it bothered him that she had said that.

Gryffindor kicked ass in the first Quidditch game of the season, thanks in large part to James's quickness at capturing the Snitch, although some people later said – and these were Slytherins, mind you – that it was because he had the faster broom and they were _only_ playing Hufflepuff. Afterwards, nearly all of the first and second year girls were falling all over him, and by association, Sirius – not that either of them really minded. Remus just kept his head buried in a book and Peter watched closely as if hoping he could subtly pick up tips. Evans also watched, her face showing her contempt. Part of James – the part that was always in denial where _she_ was concerned – thought that maybe she was a little bit jealous. But he simply shrugged it off.

What he _couldn't_ – or wouldn't – shrug off was her continued animosity towards him. Maybe he should have been nicer to her and shouldn't pick on Snivellus in front of her, but he didn't feel that those things warranted such unmitigated hatred.

He pushed it out of his mind as exams approached. He had done fairly well last year, and he was content to aim for the same grades this semester. Remus and Evans had (of course) gotten the top grades out of all of their classes. To James, that was fine. He didn't particularly care about, nor did he want, the top spot in the class. His primary concerns in life at that moment were food, Evans, pranking Snivellus, Evans, pranking the teachers, and food. Homework was included sometimes, although he mainly did that to avoid the months of detention he knew McGonagall would give him. She had already remarked that he and Sirius were well on their way to setting a school record for most amount of time spent in detention by any student – and it was only halfway through their second year.

Winter holidays passed with little occurrence. Evans stayed again, as did he and Sirius. Remus went home since this year Christmas would be right around the full moon. Peter's mum wanted him home – she was still having trouble adjusting to her little Petey being away from home all the time – and, to his and Sirius's ire, Snape stayed as well. He overheard Snivellus talking to someone – he presumed it was Evans – about how he didn't want her to be _exposed_ to him and Sirius without Snape there with her. James had almost doubled over in laughter at the thought. Snape, trying to keep him away from Evans when he was in a totally different house? Snape trying to keep him away from Evans _period_? James had seriously contemplated going to see Madam Pomfrey to make sure he hadn't broken a rib laughing. Plus, it wasn't like Evans needed back-up; she was more than capable of taking either him or Sirius on in a duel – not that either of them would admit it. Even for a Muggleborn second year…she was good. Not that James thought her being Muggleborn had anything to do with it…in fact, he suspected it was why she worked so hard, like she needed to prove something to everyone.

James tried – unsuccessfully, although that must be obvious – to get Evans under the mistletoe. After she hit him with a Full Body Bind Curse and laid him precariously close to the fire in the common room – when she knew perfectly well that it would be a long time before someone came back and found him – he gave her a wide berth for the rest of holidays.

It was almost starting to make him angry, the way she treated him. Yeah, he picked on her and her best friend a lot, but for _her_ to go so far as to lay him next to the fire for _hours_…that, he just couldn't quite comprehend.

He decided he was just going to try to leave Evans alone for the rest of the semester – the other Marauders laughed when he told them that; in Remus's words "the day you leave Lily alone will be the day I walk on two legs under a full moon" – and focus on other stuff. Maybe then she wouldn't be as wary of coming around him.

That resolution actually lasted longer than anyone could have predicted – three months, all the way to March! He _did_ send her a Valentine in February, but other than that…nothing. After the Quidditch Cup was won though (and by Gryffindor, of course) James had little else to distract him from Evans and Snivellus. So, predictably, he went back to his old habits. Well, that's not totally true – he _did_ still avoid Evans sometimes and he tried to be nice to her. But he did start torturing Snape again – with the help of the Marauders of course.

Evans seemed to be slightly more tolerant of him for the time being. She still avoided him like the plague, and he still watched her in class. She was still amazing at Charms, not so great at Transfiguration, and excelled at everything else.

March melted into April, which flowed into May, which melded into June, and soon they were all back on the Hogwarts Express back to London. He sat with the Marauders in a compartment, all of them excitedly talking about going to Hogsmeade next year. James promised to himself – silently, mind you – that he was going to get Evans to go with him sometime next year. He knew she wouldn't like the idea at first, but he was convinced him natural charm and good looks would get her to go with him…maybe if he also reminded her that any number of girls would be willing to go in her place…yeah that would work…

James smiled to himself contentedly.

**A/N:** There's chapter two. PLEASE – I'm seriously begging – PLEASE review and let me know how I'm doing. If it wasn't obvious (if it wasn't, then I seriously need to work on my writing), I am working on slowly turning James into the arrogant prick she always accused him of being. I figured that way she actually had a reason to dislike him – other than his constant torturing of her and Snape, of course.


	3. Year Three

**A/N:** So…no…I still don't own anything…which is lame, because if I _did_ I would be a freakin' gazillionaire like JK Rowling.

**LOV3theARTS:** Thank you so _so_ much for your review – it made me all warm and fuzzy inside – and now I feel the pressure lol. But seriously, thank you. *hug*

**Year Three**

"Oi! Evans!" James walked quickly after the redhead on the train. She glanced over her shoulder and walked faster. James picked up his pace. He had thought, had hoped, that _maybe_ a summer away from him would lessen her animosity. Apparently not.

He almost caught her, but she managed to duck into a compartment just in time. He sighed, then glanced in through the glass windows. She was sitting with Snivellus; of course. _Well, whatever,_ he thought. _I don't care one way or the other if Snape is in there. Actually, it's better that he is – seeing Evans agree to go out with me will be his worst nightmare come true._ James grinned to himself before taking a deep breath and sliding the door open.

The smile that had been on Evans's face slid off quickly when she saw who it was; James ignored this and leaned casually against the doorframe, also choosing to ignore the looks of loathing he could see Snape giving him.

"So, Evans – how was your summer?" he asked casually. She looked at him suspiciously.

"Fine – why do you care?"

"Oh, I would think you know by now that I care about everything that involves you. Well, _almost_," his eyes skimmed over Snape, "everything."

"You can go now Potter."

"Don't get your knickers in a twist Snivelly. I just wanted to see if Evans here," he flicked his gaze back to her, "wanted to go with me to Hogsmeade whenever the first weekend is." Evans eyes – had they gotten greener? They were like little emeralds – narrowed dangerously.

"I think not, Potter," she spat at him. Snape smirked and James had to resist the urge to pull out his wand – he knew that wouldn't get him any points with Evans.

"Think about it," he said evenly.

He had _meant_ to turn around and walk off in this really cool casual way that he figured would just leave her drooling – maybe she would even chase him down the train and accept breathlessly! – but the train had other ideas. There was a slight jostling movement as they went around a curve, just big enough to make James stumble backwards and trip over his own feet. James inwardly groaned as he landed on the ground. He could just make out the sound of laughter as the compartment door banged shut.

James sighed morosely as he headed back to the Marauders in their compartment. Not exactly the best way to start the year.

He asked Evans again at dinner, but this time she just ignored him completely.

James asked her nearly every day – sometimes twice a day – for two weeks and was met with various refusals. His personal favorite was when she told him that she would –and these were her exact words, mind you – "rather swallow her own wand whole" than set foot in Hogsmeade with him. He was utterly baffled too: other girls were practically _throwing_ themselves at him and Sirius and hinting – sometimes not very subtly either – that they would absolutely _love_ it if they could go with James Potter. Sirius was absolutely delighted. And as usual, Remus buried his head in a book and Peter watched in awe.

Classes were harder this year. Evans was still either ignoring him or being openly hostile to him. James, Sirius, and Peter worried constantly about Remus and his "time of the month" – a joke that Remus himself never really found funny – and James had Quidditch to worry about and practice for. All in all, it was not the best first two months he'd ever had.

_And_ to top it off, Sirius had been doing some research and had approached James with the harebrained – or so it had seemed when he first suggested it – idea that the three of them should become Animagus. He thought that maybe it would make it easier for Remus when he transformed if his friends were there with him. After a lot of _long_ discussions, they decided to go for it. Remus and Peter were extremely apprehensive, but James and Sirius were confident they could pull it off – their marks in class may not be the best, but they were hardly idiots. In fact, if they actually applied themselves, they would probably be two of the top students in their year – behind Remus and Evans, of course.

They began studying every bit of information they could find on it. It sounded immensely difficult, and they knew it would probably take them years, but they didn't care; Remus was their best friend, and he needed them.

The first _and_ second Hogsmeade visits came and went – and still James went without Evans. The first time he just went with the Marauders and they spent the entire day in Zonko's – actually that's not true, they did spend about five minutes in Honeydukes and ten in The Three Broomsticks. The second time James went with another third year, a brunette from Ravenclaw. It hadn't been nearly as fun – although that could've had something to do with the fact that he saw Evans and Snape come out of Honeydukes absolutely bursting with laughter. His mood quickly soured and he was forced to endure another two hours with the Ravenclaw, all while imagining particularly gruesome ways to disembowel Snape and feed him to the Giant Squid.

The first Quidditch game – Ravenclaw vs. Slytherin – went horribly. Slytherin always needed to lose, _always_. But that fact was apparently unknown to the Ravenclaw team: 290-60 was the final score. The Gryffindor Quidditch team, who would be playing Slytherin next, all felt the pressure – their captain also decided to add two extra practices a month, on top of the four they already had.

This Christmas, _all_ the Marauders and Evans stayed. Snivellus was forced to go home – and now James and Sirius would be hopelessly bored over the holiday – but more students than usual stayed this year. It was too perfect: the Marauders had a few new pranks they had been planning and were now eager to test them out. James had a feeling Evans was aware of this and he and the other Marauders were frequently treated to her dirty looks – but then again that could just be her way of trying to hide her attraction to me, James thought hopefully.

Their pranks went off quite successfully and though there was no evidence to suggest that it was them, McGonagall had a 'hunch' and docked them ten points each. Only Remus really cared – Peter would have but, since James and Sirius didn't, he didn't.

Also over break, they invented possibly one of the greatest things they ever would as a group (actually it was probably the _only_ think they invented as a group) – the Marauder's Map. Combining this with James's invisibility cloak (which still managed to fit all of them under it, although it was getting more difficult) and they knew that they would have practically free rein over the castle. They could avoid the teachers better and not be caught off guard like they had a few times in the past.

James and Sirius continued to study on how to become Animagi over the break and as the second half of the year wore on. It was far more difficult than anything they could have anticipated. They didn't tell Remus or Peter, but both of them were becoming slightly apprehensive about the possibility that they would achieve it. And they knew that if _they_ couldn't do it, then there was no _way_ Peter could. They were having to help him immensely as it was. The three of them had decided on what they wanted to be after Remus had explained about the passage between the Whomping Willow and the Shrieking Shack. Peter was going to be a rat so that he could slip between the branches and push the knot. James was going to be a stag and Sirius a large dog so that they could keep Remus in check. Not long after this, they came up with nicknames for each other – Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs – and decided to add these to the Marauder's Map so that they could have full credit.

January through April passed quickly with little of significance – well that's not totally true. There was the time when James and Sirius received their 75th detention – apparently McGonagall had been keeping count – and when James asked Evans out for the 50th time – James had been keeping count – and there was also the time when she said no, he kept bugging her, and she jinxed him. He spent two days in the hospital wing while Madam Pomfrey got rid of the boils.

Gryffindor narrowly beat Slytherin in both the House and Quidditch Cups – the animosity between the houses was the highest it had been in years. More and more people were being hexed, jinxed, shoved, harassed and picked on than ever before. James and Sirius were torturing Snivellus more than ever, which had just made Evans hate him more.

This year, Remus made James and Sirius actually _study_ for their exams. Peter usually wavered between studying and watching James and Sirius in awe in whatever they happened to be doing at the moment. As a result, they got two of the top grades in the class – they weren't surprised, and neither was Remus or Peter, but Evans sure was. Unfortunately, this only served to make James think that Evans would _definitely_ want to go out with him now. As usual, he was completely wrong.

He tried asking her out two more times – once at the last feast of the year and once on the train ride home. The first time he was treated to a resounding "NO! GO TO HELL POTTER!" and the second, a simple cold stare. It was starting to slightly bother James that so many girls were willing to go out with – some of them were desperate and some were delusional – but Evans continuously turned him down. If he didn't know any better, he would think that she almost _enjoyed_ saying no, especially when there were other people around. The whole saga was quickly becoming a legend at the school. Many of the Gryffindors had bets running on who would give up first – Evans, by going out with him, or James by giving up on asking. There were also a few on how _long_ this would go on. Sirius had bet that it would be at least sixth year before James gave up, but at the same time thought that if he was persistent enough, Evans would crack in seventh year.

James vowed that this summer he would _not_ spend it like he had his last one – dreaming up ways to get Evans to go to Hogsmeade with him, although he hadn't expected it to be such a challenge. _This_ summer, he was going to play Quidditch with Sirius, work on becoming an Animagus, and just have fun with his friends – not, I repeat _**NOT**_, think incessantly about Miss Red Hair Green Eyes…but they were such pretty green eyes…and such shiny red hair…James smiled slightly to himself. Who was he kidding?

**A/N: **That's Chapter three! I haven't started Chapter Four yet, although some ideas for it are floating around in my head. I _have_ decided to do an epilogue, and then I think I'll also write this story from Lily's point of view. We'll see…anyways, PLEASE **PLEASE** review because it makes me very happy and it makes me want to write. =]


	4. Year Four

**Disclaimer**: *sigh* no, I don't own anything. Actually that's not true – I own the gummie bears I'm eating as I write this. Oh, do I own Harry Potter? Nope. *sniffle*

**A/N:** So…Chapter Four…I won't say anything really, other than there's a dance and a revelation – twenty cookies to whoever guesses what it is ;)

**Year Four**

"No luck Prongs?" James shook his head in response to Sirius's question. No, he had not gotten Evans to go out with him. He sighed and plopped into the seat across from Remus in their train compartment.

"Well, I have something that may take your mind off of Evans's constant rejection of you." – James shot him a death glare – "I've picked up a few more Animagi books."

"Are you sure you guys want to do this?" Remus asked concernedly, leaning forward in his seat. Both James and Sirius sighed and proceeded to launch into the reasons why _yes_ they were sure and _no_ they were not going to back down or let Remus change their minds. And that's how they spent most of the train ride back to Hogwarts.

The start of term feast was wonderful as always, although James kept shooting pensive glances down the table to where his favorite redhead was sitting, completely oblivious. She had really matured over the summer – her hair was longer and shinier, her eyes greener, and her chest had…grown slightly, to put it somewhat delicately. Her laugh was absolutely enchanting and James could feel himself getting butterflies, which in itself was odd – he liked Evans, yeah, but she had never given him _butterflies_ before! Most of the guys at the Gryffindor table were also staring at her, as well as some at Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, although she had no idea. She also had no idea that James was entertaining very murderous thoughts about all the males who were gawking at her. Evans wouldn't have appreciated that very much.

All the fourth years had customized schedules this year depending on what they had signed up for at the end of last term. All of the Marauders had the same classes – Charms (which James had insisted on because he knew whose favorite subject it was), Potions (because Evans was really good at it), Transfiguration (because they needed it to help them become Animagi – not that they could tell anyone that), Divination, History of Magic (no choice there), and Muggle Studies (because James was desperately hoping that Evans would be in there although he knew it was a long shot).

Fortunately, it turned out Evans had the same schedule – she wasn't pleased, but James was delighted. Unfortunately, Snivelly, who for some reason was still Evans's best friend, had nearly the exact same schedule, only without Muggle Studies and Divination.

James spent the first few weeks alternating between asking Evans out, pranking Snape, staring at Evans in class, studying Animagi, staring at Evans at dinner, hexing Snape, and asking Evans out. Sirius had taken over James's previous occupation of counting the number of times she had rejected him. By October, he had tallied up 103.

A lot of his frustration about Evans he took out on the Quidditch pitch, which fortunately resulted in Gryffindor soundly beating Ravenclaw in the first match of the year. This also _un_fortunately resulted in a rise in James's ego and his belief that all girls – especially red-haired green-eyed girls – should be falling at his feet and worshipping the ground he walked on. And a lot of them did. But not Evans. Never Evans. She could have been dying of thirst and James had the last glass of water on the planet, and she would never ask _him_ for it.

At the Halloween Feast, Dumbledore announced that there would be a Christmas Ball **(A/N**:Yes, I know it's usually called the Yule Ball, but I wanted to be different ok? =D**)**, formal – guys in tuxes, girls in dresses – and that it would be held Christmas evening for fourth years and up. James instantly looked down the table at Evans, wondering when she would want him to ask her. She glanced up from her plate and met his eyes. Hers narrowed and she gave him a look that clearly said '_Don't even think about it'_. But of course he did – a lot. And of course he was going to ask – he just had to catch her at a good moment, when Snivellus wasn't around – then he could charm her and she would fall into his arms and everything would be perfect.

But of course, life doesn't work like that. Life decided that James had been having too much luck so far, between the Quidditch game, the girls, the fact that he hadn't had detention in a week, and the fact that the Marauders had been getting away with nearly every prank for about a month. Life decided to play a very, _very_ mean joke on James Potter.

He had planned on cornering her after Charms, when she was sure to be in a good mood. Life, with its cruel sense of humor, made sure Snape was absent that class, just so that James would think that it would all work out like he wanted.

Unfortunately, as James followed her out of class, he was caught behind a crowd. When he finally caught up, he came upon a very unwelcome scene – Evans blushing to the roots of her red hair while some guy – a Ravenclaw named Marcus, if he remembered correctly – asked her to the dance. She giggled and said yes, blushing even more furiously. She giggled. _She_ giggled. SHE. GIGGLED. At some idiot Ravenclaw. She had never, _never_, giggled at James Potter, but here she was, acting like some goofy little girl with a crush and –

Wait. She didn't actually have a _crush_ on that guy did she? There was no way! James knew that deep down, Evans liked him, and her animosity was just her way of covering it up. Or at least that was what he had always thought. It seemed fitting – he was a Quidditch god, handsome, charming, hilarious, a Marauder – what girl wouldn't want him?

James had to resist the urge to pound in the Ravenclaw's face for the next two months. Instead, he hexed Snape every chance he got, only serving to piss Evans off more. Sirius asked constantly why he was in such a foul mood, Peter hid behind someone when he thought James might yell – as he had taken to doing recently – and Remus just smiled knowingly (and somewhat infuriatingly) and went back to reading whatever he was at the time. Finally, having had enough of his smiles, James asked what he was smirking about.

"You're jealous," Remus replied simply. Sirius's jaw dropped, and then a mischievous glint came to his eyes. Peter looked back and forth nervously.

"What – you – barmy – me – Evans – whaddaya mean JEALOUS?" he finally exploded with. Remus smirked again, and James had to resist the urge to pound in his best friends face (out of sheer love and frustration of course).

"You wanted to ask Lily to the dance, and some bloke beat you to it. And _she_ actually said yes to _him_. You're jealous."

"_No_, I'm not Moony."

"Admit it James – asking Lily" – Remus was the only one who called her Lily since she was actually friends with him – "out used to just be a game to you, especially since you are deluded into thinking that she is as insane over you as the rest of your fan club is. But at some point, you actually started to have _feelings_ for her. I've seen the way you stare at her, we all have. The entire _school_ has. But you won't admit it. YOU LIKE LILY."

"Moony, my friend," James replied jovially, "_you_ have gone absolutely barmy if you believe anything you just said. Yeah, I was going to ask _Evans_ to the dance, but some other guy got there first. That's not what's been wrong with me." Remus arched an eyebrow disbelievingly.

"Well then, pray tell, what has?"

"I…you know…it's just…well you see…Snivelly's driving me nuts. He keeps trying to hex me," James finished lamely. Sirius let out a short barking laugh.

"_I_ think, Jamesie, that _you_ are the one that has gone barmy."

"Padfoot – don't – call – me – JAMESIE!"

Sooner than James liked, Christmas evening was here. An extraordinary amount of people had decided to stay over holiday – not that the Marauders were really that surprised. Christmas morning itself was delightful – he got an assortment of goodies from Zonko's, some books on Animagi, and various chocolates and sweets from Honeyduke's. The Marauders had a splendid snowball fight – James came _thisclose_ to getting Evans to play – and then they all decided to go upstairs and get ready for the Ball. He still didn't understand why Dumbledore insisted they wear Muggle suits as opposed to dress robes. They were so…_itchy_. Not to mention uncomfortable.

James was impressed at how the Marauder's as a group cleaned up…well, except maybe Peter. Sirius had a date, but James, Remus, and Peter had opted to go without – well, James and Remus had opted…Peter…didn't really have a choice. Sirius thought it was hilarious that James was going _stag._ Because that's just so clever.

They had been at the ball for about ten minutes. It was okay, the music wasn't horrible, the house-elves had supplied their usual splendid food, and the night itself was going fairly well – until IT happened. And James's world as he knew it came crashing down around his ears.

It all started when Evans showed up. Only she wasn't Evans – she was _Lily_, and yes there is a difference. The difference was that _Evans_ was the snarky bookish girl he teased and pranked and asked out, and sometimes got hexed by. _Lily_ was the absolutely stunning redhead – who didn't look the slightest bit bookish – who looked absolutely beautiful, like she shouldn't even be on Earth with the mere mortals inhabiting Hogwarts. Lily was drop dead gorgeous. Her dress was black and strapless, with a white sash around her waist and intricate white beading on the top. The rest of the dress fell softly around her legs, hugging her curves in all the right places. Her red hair was pulled back into an elaborate twist, but a few stray strands refused to stay back and fell down, brushing her cheeks. Her face had a glow about it, and she was smiling, honest-to-God _smiling_, in a way that James had never seen before. Her eyes were sparkling. And then IT hit him.

Remus was wrong – James didn't have _feelings_ for Lily. He didn't _like_ her.

He was completely, head-over-heels, insanely _in love_ with her.

He loved that she was brilliant at Charms and horrible at Transfiguration. He loved that when she actually acknowledged his presence and they had a row (which had been happening more and more often), her eyes lit up with this energy, this fire, that was directed at him and usually only him. He loved that he could push her buttons more than anyone else in the school. He even – almost – loved that she turned him down so much. James was developing something of a reputation for being a chick magnet, the type of guy who had a girl of the week, and she didn't care. She didn't care that he was Quidditch hero, most popular boy in school, or a Marauder. It both irked him and drew him to her.

What _really_ irked him now was the fact that while he was having an epiphany, Lily – he liked the way her name sounded in his thoughts – was hanging all over that smarmy Ravenclaw that had managed to beat him to asking her. His dislike of the guy was only increased by the thought that had he gotten to her thirty seconds earlier, _he_, James, could have been the one enjoying Lily's insane beauty – yes he really was _that_ delusional.

James made the smart decision that he needed some air before he punched in the face of Marcus whatshisname. He stayed outside for most of the Ball, only coming in when he felt the need to look at Lily – he could really get used to calling her that – again.

Unfortunately, one of the times he looked at her, she was in the arms of her date…slow dancing (**A/N:** At this point, _I_ was resisting the urge to punch Marcus whatshisname – and I made him up!). He decided he needed more air – lots more air.

He knew Remus was worried about him. He knew Sirius was flirting with twenty different girls. He knew Peter was probably trying to work up the courage to ask a girl to dance. He knew he didn't care. He was leaving.

James sat in the common room for hours, just staring at the fire and pondering his predicament (Jamesie knows big words tonight). He was still there when Lily came back. He could hear her saying good-night to her date outside – he prayed they weren't kissing – and he listened for the creak of the portrait.

Lily made to walk past him quickly, probably hoping to avoid a confrontation with him, but he stood up and grabbed her arm. Instead of yanking it away like usual, she simply turned to face him warily.

"What, Potter?"

"I…well um…I…I just wanted…to say that you…you look beautiful tonight Lily." Holy crap – did he just say her first name OUT LOUD? He was going to sink into the floor – or better yet throw himself into the fire.

She smiled slightly – not the radiant smile he had seen earlier (he would have had a heart attack if _that_ smile had been directed at him), but a smile nonetheless – and said "You don't look too bad yourself Potter."

And that would have been perfect…if James had just kept his damn mouth shut.

"I knew you liked me Evans." Oops. The smile slid off her face in an instant, she jerked her arm out of his hand and stormed off to the girls' dormitory.

Hardly any of this registered with James – all he cared about was the fact that Lily had complimented him. He floated on a cloud for the rest of the winter holiday.

The cloud vanished when classes resumed and Lily went back to ignoring him or yelling at him. He actually _tried_ to start fights with her just so he could see her eyes get all fiery. He kept pranking Snivellus and staring at Lily when she wasn't looking.

James tried several more times to get her to go out with him, but was met with the usual failure. He almost had _heart_ failure when he heard that Lily was still dating that Ravenclaw that she had gone to the Ball with. It was also slightly unfortunate for Marcus when James decided that they had been together for too long…we won't reveal details, but James has his way of making things happen…

Needless to say, Lily was not very happy when Marcus broke up with her out of the blue, and she guessed – accurately – that James was behind it. He was in the hospital wing for two days after she was done with him, and Madam Pomfrey said the itching would probably last another week or so.

James was pleasantly surprised when Lily showed up at the last Quidditch game of the year against Slytherin, and attempted to impress her with him impressive Seeking skills. He caught the Snitch after seven minutes and _still_ managed to flirt with her during the game. She remained unimpressed, but James refused to give up hope.

He came close to giving up when he walked in on Lily snogging Blake Whites, a Gryffindor fifth year. They didn't see him, but the twenty seconds he stood there and stared were more than enough to send his heart skidding across the floor, crashing into the wall, and shattering into a million pieces.

After a month and a half, James had had enough of Lily and Blake, but he was smarter this time. He knew Blake had a weakness for blondes and so he paid one of the other fifth year girls to throw herself at him (not that she minded), and timed it just as Lily walked around the corner. After he saw the look on her face, James heartily wished he had chosen a different method of splitting them up – the hurt on her face was enough to cause a dull ache to appear in James's chest.

The year was almost over, and James and Sirius had made significant progress with their Animagi studies. Peter wasn't doing to terribly either, thanks to a _lot_ of assistance from the other Marauders.

They first transformed the night of the End of Term feast; while everyone was packing, they snuck down to the grounds and went just inside the Forbidden Forest. It was highly uncomfortable at first – well for James at least: he wasn't used to having antlers. Sirius however, had changed and then bounded around and started chasing his tail. It took Peter hours, but he finally managed to change into a rat and back. They were pleased with their progress and decided to keep practicing over the summer.

James had promised himself that he was going to also use this summer to try and get over Lil-Evans. He had to go back to thinking of her as Evans. Thinking of her as Lily only made him picture the beautiful girl from the Ball – not that she wasn't always beautiful…that hair…and those beautiful eyes.

He sighed. This summer was going to be no different than the last. He did have one thing that made him happy – he had noticed that Li-Evans, _Evans_, and Snivellus were spending less and less time together. And that thought – along with the still very vivid memory of her saying he looked good the night of the Christmas Ball – were enough to make him float through the summer.

**A/N:** These chapters are going to get progressively longer, I can tell already, although I don't think it's a bad thing =]. So, that was Year Four, hope you liked – I'm still debating on how to start Year Five, but I already know how I'm going to incorporate the whole James/Lily/Severus/Marauders scene by the lake, so that will be fun *giggles*. After that though, the chapters will differ quite a bit from what JK Rowling wrote in the books about James and Lily. You'll see when I get there. Please, _please_, *gets on knees and clasps hands together* **PLEASE** review!


	5. Year Five

**Disclaimer: **JK Rowling is blonde, British, and has (I think) blue eyes. I'm brunette, American, and have brown eyes – do you think I'm her???

**A/N:** I was re-reading the last chapter I posted, and I realized I forgot to list Defense Against the Dark Arts as class that they signed up for, as well as Herbology. I hope they weren't glaring omissions! And thanks to my reviewers – I'm glad y'all are enjoying this story! Your reviews are giving me warm-fuzzies!

**Year Five**

James really, _really_, REALLY envied Remus. Remus was now one of the Gryffindor prefects. He had just got back from their meeting with the new Head Boy and Girl, and guess who was the other prefect? Lily Evans, James's reason for breathing (and pranking Snape) and the bane of his existence. How could she be both, you ask?

Because James was helplessly in love with her, and she was the only girl in the school who didn't throw herself at him.

And now his best friend was going to get to spend countless hours with her, patrolling, and doing whatever it was that Prefects did, while James had nightmares and disturbing thoughts about his best friend and his woman. James could only imagine the look on Lil-_EVANS_ face (even after an entire summer, he still had trouble reverting back to calling her Evans) if she knew he was thinking about her as _his_ woman. He would be dead.

And that's what occupied James Potter's mind for the rest of the train ride back to school and the carriage ride up to the castle.

He watched Lily furtively during dinner; was it possible she had gotten even _more_ beautiful over the summer? He glanced around the Great Hall and was slightly amused and slightly angry over what he saw. A Hufflepuff – third year by the looks of him – was so busy staring at Lily that he hadn't noticed his friends had stolen his plate of food. A Ravenclaw – who happened to be sitting next to Marcus whatshisname, Lily's ex – kept poking his mashed potatoes and shooting longing looks over at her. A Gryffindor first year practically tripped over his own feet when she looked at him as he walked past. James sighed. Poor little man – he had no chance against the loveliness that was Lily Evans.

James tried – and succeeded somewhat – to direct his thoughts elsewhere. He thought about how far he and Sirius and Peter had come as Animagi. Now, instead of the intense concentration that had been needed at first, they could simply focus for a moment and transform. James was even getting used to his antlers. He had caught sight of himself in his pond when he and Padfoot had been running around in his backyard one day – he looked regal, majestic even – he made a very handsome stag. His ego swelled more (typical Jamesie).

The four of them anxiously awaited the first full moon of the school year. They had other things occupying their minds of course – Remus: Prefect duties; James: Evans and her most recent rejection of him (what else is new); Sirius: whoever his current girlfriend was; and Peter: cheese – but they were both looking forward to it and dreading it. They also received quite a shock one evening, a week or so beforehand, when Remus recounted a conversation he'd had with Lily. She had asked to speak to him privately after dinner that afternoon – they had all been baffled, and James had been slightly (or a lot) jealous.

"She said that if she ever needed her to cover my patrols then I could consider it done. I was confused at first, but then she gave me this look and said 'Oh, you know, in case any of your relatives turn up ill or you have another family emergency.' And I could tell she knew. She admitted it, and said that she had figured it out last year, but she swore she wouldn't tell anyone and that it didn't change what she thought about me – she still considers me a friend."

James's jealousy about Remus being considered Lily's friend lasted the entire week up until the full moon, and as a result, several students found themselves either in the hospital wing (Snape and a few select Slytherins included) or on the receiving end of a prank, although those were usually harmless.

Their first full moon was a new experience for all of them. Remus showed them the knot on the tree and the passageway to the Shrieking Shack. Watching Remus transform was both terrifying and an eye opener for the other three Marauders. But after he realized that the rat, stag, and dog were friends, not enemies, he seemed to calm down. They knew that Remus didn't know it was them – to his werewolf's brain, they were just animals that were there.

They stayed all night – luckily the next day was a Saturday, so they didn't have to worry about waking up for class. At around five Remus changed back, and the four of them headed back up to the castle under James's invisibility cloak and crawled back into bed, completely exhausted.

Seeing as how this was O.W.L. year, the teachers had decided it would be absolutely wonderful of them to pile on the homework – multiple essays a week, questions to answer, practical experience, outside reading, anything you can think of, all in the name of getting good grades. If it weren't for the fact that one of his best friends was one of the top students in the class and the fact that he was actually smart as well, James would have completely collapsed under the strain of it all. Several students already had, and Evans looked closer to it every day. James decided to be nice and not add to her stress by asking her out every day. Instead, he opted for twice a week. A boy could only resist so much.

Each full moon got easier and less exhausting. Remus even said that he vaguely remembered things in the morning – not usually anything concrete, mainly just a feeling of contentment or safety.

Teachers began giving exams – "practice O.W.L.s" they called them – left, right, and center. Remus, James, Peter, and even Sirius were practically living in the library, if only to get away from the first and second years who were still young, giggly, and noisy back in the common room. The downside to this was frequent encounters with Evans. How was this a downside? Well, it made it harder for him to concentrate, knowing that a beautiful redhead was a few bookshelves away, and there was the added bonus (sarcasm) of seeing Snivellus constantly with her. Apparently they were _study buddies_.

She could also be found awake at odd hours of the night, studying or reading by the fire in the common room. When James couldn't sleep he would sit on the stairs in his Invisibility Cloak and watch her. He loved to see the look on her face, the constantly changing expressions that flitted across, when she read. She had also developed an almost feline grace about the way she moved, getting up from the chair and walking either to a desk or by the fire or to the staircase to the girls' dormitory. It was the third or fourth time he had sat and watched her that he realized he had it _bad_. He was sitting her, watching her _read_, for crying out loud! But he couldn't make himself leave before she did, and he felt an almost irrational disappointment on the nights she went to bed early.

It also hadn't escaped James's notice that she and Snape were fighting more and more often. Nothing like the fights _he_ had with Lily, but a definite change from their previous easy relationship. James was pleased somewhat, except for the moments when he saw the hurt in her eyes that he knew Snivellus caused – he made a few more trips to the hospital wing because of that, courtesy of James and the Marauders.

It was December when they made their last Hogsmeade trip before the holidays. Remus wanted a few new books and James and Sirius were content to spend all their time in Zonko's. Peter went with Remus so he wouldn't be by himself, and they all agreed to meet at the Three Broomsticks at two.

The day had been progressing fairly well until they walked into the pub and James spotted Lily sitting with a seventh year in a corner. James moved over to the bar and sat down next to Sirius, watching the couple in the corner through the mirror over the bar. After a few minutes, the guy seemed to feel eyes on him and he looked up and spotted James; he visibly tensed – everyone at the school knew that James didn't take to kindly to Lily having boyfriends, and guys that _were_ brave enough to ask Lily out didn't really last very long.

Lily and The Interference left soon afterwards, back out into the snow. James sipped his butterbeer and tried to figure out how to scare this one off without pissing off Lily.

Since there was no dance this year, the Christmas holidays were quite subdued – even the Marauders laid off pranking for awhile. They sensed that the fifth years that had stayed behind really needed to relax this Christmas break before school started again and they were forced back into thinking about O.W.L.s and the stress that would inevitably put on all of them.

The fifth year guys and girls decided to have a snowball fight one day, since there were five each. It was a genius idea, they all agreed later (even Lily agreed, even though James was the one that made the statement). It relieved a lot of the stress and frustration they had all been feeling – particularly Lily, who seemed to throw a snowball with all her might at James whenever she got the chance – and, as a plus for James, he got to see Lily laughing and happy, her green eyes – what was it with him and her eyes? he wondered – sparkling and her cheeks flushed from the cold. And he knew he looked pretty good himself, but he resisted the urge to ask her out…at least, until later, whenever everyone else had gone to bed. But predictably, she said no. And things went back to the way they were.

James was almost grateful when classes started back up again – he could focus on something other than the fact that Lily was now constantly avoiding him; it was like she thought that the snowball fight that day and the pleasant time afterwards with all of their friends had put ideas into his head – unfortunately for her, the ideas were already there and they weren't going anywhere – and she was going to stay away from him to keep him from thinking that she was interested in him.

James was a resilient guy, but he had to admit that Lily's constant rejections were a bit disheartening. He was determined, sure, but he was also starting to despair that she would ever even _consider_ saying yes. And it still baffled him – he still had every girl in the school falling all over themselves to go out with him (and, James being James, he did go out with a few of them), but Lily hated him. _Despised_ him, even. And he knew part of it had to do with the fact that he constantly brought attention to her that he knew she didn't want by asking her out when there were other people around and by chasing her and even by almost humiliating her every now and then, although it wasn't intentional by any means.

He had long since gotten rid of her boyfriend from Hogsmeade, although he suspected it was more to do with the fact that the guy was afraid James would hex him if he kept going out with Lily. All it took on James's part were a few dark looks and the guy got the hint.

But pretty much everything about Evans was pushed out of James's mind (shocking, I know!) by the upcoming Quidditch finals, the mounds of homework due on Monday, and the fact that the next full moon was in a week.

Their full moon escapades were helping Remus, they could tell. There were even a few times when they ventured out onto the grounds. James and Sirius were definitely big enough to handle him, and they made sure he got nowhere near the castle or anywhere they thought students might be lurking about after hours. James was sure Lily was getting suspicious about the fact that they were sometimes just as exhausted as Remus in the days following a full moon, but he hoped she just thought it was because they were staying up late worrying about him.

Valentine's Day came, and James could tell that Lily was trying to avoid him – he usually did something embarrassing to her around Valentine's (last year it had been something involving a singing Cupid and obscene amounts of pink hearts floating around her during the day), but this year he opted for something slightly more subtle and much less embarrassing. Luckily, Lily stayed up that night reading, and James watched from the stairs. He watched as she closed her book and walked over to the table and set it down. She picked up a quill someone had left – and it turned into a rose in her hand. She looked at it in shock, then jumped when vases of roses appeared all around her and rose petals covered the floor. He watched her look around at it all, her eyes wide, and saw her scan the room hoping to find the culprit. She knew it was from him – who else would have done that for her? – but she didn't know where he was. Lily just stood there in the middle of it all for a few minutes before waving her wand and Vanishing it all. James's heart broke a little. He really did love her, but he knew she would never believe him. He was so focused on his own thoughts that he almost – _almost_ – missed what she did next: apparently she hadn't Vanished everything. There was still one rose, and she picked it up and took it back upstairs with her. James smiled a little at that – maybe all hope wasn't lost.

For the first time in three years, Gryffindor lost the Quidditch Cup – to Ravenclaw. The score of the final match was 300-280. It was so close that instead of feeling better, the team felt worse – they felt they should have been able to beat them. Never mind the fact that they set a school record by scoring 280 points _without_ catching the Snitch. The entire house was extremely proud of them, but the team, especially James, only felt the loss.

He couldn't dwell on it, though – the last game was in April, and O.W.L.s were near the end of May.

The O.W.L.s themselves weren't that hard. All of Remus's insistence on studying earlier in the year had paid off, plus there was James' natural genius. He also managed to doodle 'L.E.' on every piece of scrap parchment on the tests, usually inside a Snitch or with '+ J.P.' somewhere.

But then there was that whole unfortunate incident by the lake the day of the Defense Against the Darks Arts test. Snape uttering that unforgivable word about his supposed _best friend_. The look of hurt that flickered over Lily's face before her eyes hardened were enough to make James want to curse Snivellus until he was a blabbering fool who needed someone to spoon-feed him. But Lily stood up for herself, and after she ran off, James decided to let Snape off just this once – after threatening to remove his underwear in front of the crowd, of course. But James's priority was finding Lily.

She was sitting in an abandoned classroom on a desk, with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She didn't even look up when he opened the door, just uttered a "go away Snape" in his general direction.

"It's James, not Snape." Her head shot up and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"What do _you_ want, Potter?" She snapped.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I know he hurt your feelings back there and-"

"And what? You felt bad for me? Decided to come pity the poor little Mudblood?"

"Don't call yourself that Lily."

"Why not?" She laughed almost hysterically. "It's what I am, isn't it? I'm sure you think that sometimes, a spoiled, rich, little pureblood like yourself."

"No, I-"

"Oh, save it Potter. I don't care what you do or don't think about me. I never have. So why don't you just go?" Ok, that hurt. A lot. Here he was, trying to help her and make sure she was okay, and she was practically ripping his heart out of his chest. He almost turned heel and left, but he hear her sniff softly and choke back a sob behind him, and he knew he would never forgive himself for walking out the door. Instead, James did the brave – and some would say, stupid – thing and sat down on a desk across from her.

"_I told you to _GO. Go on Potter. Get out." He just sat and watched her.

"Lily, I know that hurt you back there. Sniv-Snape is supposed to be your best friend."

"You never liked him. What difference does it make to you? You're probably doing a little internal happy dance that he's out of the way, and now you think it will be easier to get me in a broom closet somewhere." James opened his mouth to interject but she cut him off. "Don't even try and tell me that you wouldn't. You don't think I know you, Potter? Know how your teenage male brain works? You have snogged damn near every girl in this school but me, and that just doesn't sit well with you does it? No, the great and mighty James Potter must conquer _everything_ about this school and that includes Lily Evans. So you pursue me, ask me out, _humiliate_ me, hex my…my best friend," she choked on the words, "all to get me to be yours for a week before you are tired of me."

"Lily, that's not what-"

"What this is? That's not why you've relentlessly made my life a living hell for the last four years? Chased off all my boyfriends? Spare me, Potter."

"Look I know you're upset about the whole thing that just happened with Snivellus-" James was cut off as Lily leaped off the desk and slapped him so hard his head snapped to the right. His cheek tingled and burned.

"Don't – call – him – that!" She hissed. "You calling him _Snivellus_ was one of the problems. You don't think that you hexing him and torturing him strained our friendship? I defended you sometimes, you know! I said that I was sure there was something going on in your life that made you so angry and frustrated that you took it out on other people like that. That deep, _deep_ down somewhere you had some decency in you. But you don't have a shred, and I am such an IDIOT," she yelled the last word. "Your life is FINE. You had no reason to hex him or anyone else the way you did. You just wanted to because you or Sirius was _bored_. Your over-inflated ego told you that it was alright. Did you think I was joking when I said I would rather date the Giant Squid than you? I would rather date ANYONE – I would rather jump off the Astronomy Tower – than ever, _ever_, let you touch me."

James felt every word like it was a little shard of glass, slowly cutting him to pieces to be left on the floor of this room. And he got so angry – angry at himself for falling in love with a girl who hated him and only ever hurt him, angry at her for thinking so little of him, angry at the whole damn situation – that he snapped.

"Wow Evans." He said softly – coldly. "I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm sorry you think so little of me. Most of all, I'm sorry I was ever such an idiot to fall in love with you." Her eyes widened in shock and he laughed softly – scornfully. "Oh, not expecting that were you? And here you were, Miss High and Mighty, Madame Prefect, thinking all I wanted from you was a quick snog in an empty classroom. Never occurred to you that I might actually _care_ did it? That I might actually have some _feelings_ for you? That there actually was a _reason_ behind everything I ever did for you? I thought you were smart Evans. I come here to check on you, to make sure you were okay after what that ass you considered your best friend called you, and I get slapped, I get verbally abused, I get treated like _I'm_ the one who said that to you." He took a step towards her, still speaking quietly, in an oddly detached voice. "Do you have _any_ idea what hearing him call you that did to me? I had to resist the urge to hex him into a million little pieces – but I did so that I could come here and see how you were because I knew you wouldn't be taking it very well. Because I've been in love with since last year." Lily was now pressed against the wall and James was inches from her. She looked nervous, terrified almost, but he wasn't going to do anything to her.

"Don't worry, Lily, I won't do it again. Next time one of your friends insults and humiliates you, I'll go shut myself in my dorm and ignore you. I won't try to defend you or help you. No, I've learned my lesson there. You get your wish Evans – I'm done," he finished softly. He looked her over with a disdain that he didn't quite feel – she still looked unbelievably gorgeous, even though her hair was mussed and tangled and her eyes puffy from crying – and quietly added, "Congratulations" before turning and walking out of the classroom.

James barely remembered or paid attention to the next few weeks – luckily it was the end of the year. Remus, Sirius, and Peter all tried to talk to him, but he refused to say anything at first. He noticed Evans seemed to be avoiding him more than usual, which was probably a good thing – the more time he spent away from her, the more he hoped he could get over her.

Finally, tired of the Marauders' pestering, he told them "I gave up" but didn't elaborate. It was enough though – they knew how painful that had to be for him, and they were content to simply sit with him or sneak to Honeyduke's for chocolate for him.

After what seemed like forever, James and the rest of the Marauders were boarding the Hogwarts Express to go back to London. They had already made plans to meet up at James's house for a few weeks – they knew he would need the company to keep his mind off Evans…speaking of which…

She was getting on the train a few cars down. Her friends were giggling about something as usual, but Evans was staring off into space, obviously deep in thought. She turned to look at something and their eyes met. He held her gaze for a few moments – telling himself it was okay because he wasn't going to be dreaming about her eyes anymore and he was going to be staying away from her from now on – and he thought he saw something like remorse in her emerald eyes. He didn't think about it too much, and before she could, he looked away.

**A/N:** OMG, I'm soooo glad I'm done with this chapter. It was exhausting to write, especially the whole fight thing. But don't worry, Chapter Six will be a bit happier, although I have some tests coming up – college likes to remind me that I can't just sit in my dorm and write all day – so it might be a little while before I can get around to it. I promise I will, though. I won't just drop this story – I wanna know how it ends too! And as always, please, _please_, _please_, _**please**_, _**PLEASE**_ review.


	6. Year Six

**A/N:** Nope, still don't own anything about Harry Potter…*sigh*…So, thank you to **PleaofInsanity**, **TheNewWeasleyGirl, Lady Aleksandra, Evansgirl27, **and **LOV3theARTS** for reviewing so far – y'all's reviews have made me very happy and made me keep wanting to write this story =]. And don't worry, this chapter will be mostly happier than the last one. _**And in the Author's note at the end, there's a tiny hint of what will be in Chapter Seven.**_

**Year Six**

James could honestly look back at the summer after fifth year and say it was the toughest one he'd had since starting Hogwarts. He had to remind himself multiple times a day not to think about Evans, not to daydream about Evans, not to picture her eyes. If the Marauders hadn't spent most of the summer at his house, he would have gone crazy.

He sat silently on the train, staring out the window, wondering how the hell he was going to cope with the coming year. The good news was he was now Quidditch Captain, and so he had more responsibilities to take up his time and keep him preoccupied from Evans.

James first saw her when the trolley lady came with the candy. He poked his head out to get some Every Flavor Beans and there she was, buying some Chocolate Frogs – her favorite candy, he knew – and Merlin she still looked so damn _beautiful_. She met his eyes and then looked away, a faint blush rising to her cheeks. It took all of James's self control not to make a joke or ask her out.

"Evans." She looked up.

"Potter…"

And that was the only thing they said to each other for the first two months of school. He knew – and Sirius thought this was hilarious – that some of the first years were disappointed by this; apparently, they had heard from friends or siblings about James and Lily's legendary fights, and his constant attempts to ask her out. They wanted to see it for themselves (and really, who could blame them?) and some would look up hopefully when one of them entered a room that the other was already in. James hated to disappoint the little firsties, but he was learning to deal with this new relationship – or lack thereof – between him and Evans.

James tried to tell himself he didn't mind, but truthfully, he really missed arguing with her and seeing how fired up she could get. The whole thing about redheads having huge tempers – yeah, not a stereotype when it came to Lily.

Quidditch tryouts for the year went off pretty well – James, of course, would be returning as Seeker, but he needed to find two new Chasers and a Keeper. They began practicing twice a week, sometimes three times as the games drew nearer. Sometimes other Gryffindors would show up for practice to watch and cheer their team on – the loudest of these was usually Sirius. James turned around one time to yell at Sirius to shut up and quit distracting his team when he saw a flash of red hair a few rows higher. She was determinedly not watching him, but as practice continued he could feel her eyes on him.

Midway through October, James (and everyone in the school, teachers included) got the shock of his life when Evans approached him at dinner one night. He could feel everyone staring almost as acutely as he could feel her standing behind him.

"Umm, Potter, can I…can I talk to you for a minute…please?" James ignored her, as was part of his getting over Evans plan. He could hear people whispering.

"-but she _never_ wants to talk to him-"

"-always yelling at him-"

"-hasn't asked her out once this year-"

"-maybe she's finally lost it-"

"James?"

He spun around so fast he popped his neck _and_ his back. "Please?" People began whispering even more furiously as he stood up numbly and followed her out of the Hall. He didn't really care what she wanted to talk to him about…really, only one thought was floating through his mind, and it was all he could do to keep from grinning like a goofy idiot.

'_She called me James. __She__ called __me__ James. SHE called ME James…_'

And really, it had rolled off her tongue rather nicely, he thought. His name sounded twenty times better coming out of her lips. He didn't care if she was going to slap him or yell at him or curse him or anything…as long as she said his name one more time. And then James could die a happy man.

No – wait. He was trying to _get over_ Evans. So what if she said his name? No big deal. It was his name.

She stood in front of him fidgeting – she was so cute when she fidgeted – no stop thinking that! Evans fidgeting was NOT cute, it was just fidgeting! (James's new favorite word was fidgeting)

"Um I..well really I just wanted…you see, I – I'm sorry." James blinked. And then pinched himself. Lily Evans was apologizing? For _what_?

"Last year, after the whole thing with Seve-Snape, and I yelled at you and hit you…well, I'm sorry. You were just trying to stick up for me and I was just a mess because I thought Snape was my best friend but it turns out he's not, he's just a stupid Slytherin like the rest of them" – Evans rambles when she's nervous or uncomfortable, he noticed – "and it really wasn't fair of me to say the stuff I did and I'm really sorry I slapped you, and so…yeah…" she trailed off.

"It's okay Evans. I wasn't really mad – well maybe a little – but it didn't last long." Out of the corner of his eye he saw Snivellus walk out of the Great Hall and pause at the sight of them. He saw Evans tense and knew that she had seen him too.

"Friends?" she asked tentatively, sticking out her hand.

"Evans," James replied, lowering his voice until Snape couldn't hear them. "If you are offering only because of a certain greasy git standing over there then please don't. If you really mean it, then absolutely." He looked at her uncertainly. She considered for a moment, then smiled slightly.

"What about if it's for both reasons? I _would_ like to be friends with you, but it also doesn't hurt that it pisses him off does it?"

"No," he said resolutely, shaking her hand. "It most definitely does not hurt. In fact," he added, a wide grin splitting his face, "it makes it that much better. So yeah, Ev-Lily. Friends." She smiled slightly bigger then, before realizing they were still holding hands and dropping hers, blushing slightly.

"Lily, can I speak with you for a moment?" an oily voice interrupted. Lily and James both turned to look at Snape. "In private," he added, eyeing James with distaste.

"This is as private as you're going to get _Snivellus_, so speak." Lily replied coolly. James had to admit he was proud of her. Snape's eyes narrowed before he took a step closer and attempted to take her by the arm. He found himself facing both of their wands.

"Don't – touch – me!" She hissed.

"Lily, come on! Please! We were friends for years and I don't want to throw that away just because-"

"Just because what Snape? You called me a word that is the worst insult someone could use? I'd say that's a pretty good reason, wouldn't you James?" She turned to look at him. Ah, her eyes…

"Yeah, I'd say it is."

"You need to leave Snape," she finished softly. He took a step towards her, a pleading look in his eyes. James stepped slightly in front of her.

"She asked you to leave," James said evenly, keeping his wand level with Snape's chest. He sent one last pleading look Lily's way, and a look of pure loathing towards James and then turned heel and stormed off. Lily breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thanks James," she said softly from behind him.

"No problem Lily."

She laughed a little. "Oh, I never thought I'd see the day that I was on a first name basis with James Potter."

"Well, we're friends now, so get used to it."

And they were friends. It shocked the entire school. They thought that McGonagall about had a heart attack when Lily walked into the Great Hall for breakfast one day and sat down with the Marauders. The rest of the school was completely blindsided. They had all (with the exception of the first years) seen the rows the two had had, the multiple times Lily had rejected him, and some of them even knew (through the magic of eavesdropping) about the fight they had had at the end of last term.

The first half of sixth year positively flew by after that – time really does fly when you're having fun. And James was – between Quidditch, the usual pranks, and his new friendship with Lily, he was having the time of his life. And they weren't even pranking people as much anymore. The ones they pulled were more hilarious than humiliating – except for those aimed at Snape – and Lily had gotten them (well James really) to back off a little. When it came to Snivellus though, she usually turned a blind eye – once or twice she even helped, although only in minor parts.

He started tutoring her in Transfiguration, which everyone knew was his best subject and her worst. She helped him in Charms sometimes, and every now and then looked over his homework as well. She ignored when they vanished along with Remus once a month. They would usually return to find her asleep on the couch where she had tried to wait up for them. It was strange, James often thought, being friends with Lily Evans, but definitely in a good way.

There were times, though, that James wondered if her friend was all he would ever be. He could sometimes be seen sitting in somewhere, staring off into space, having an argument with himself in his brain (hopefully no-one around was a Legilimens)…

I'm just her friend. Her bloody friend.

_Do you want to bitch about it or are you going to be grateful that she doesn't hate you anymore?_

I _am_ grateful, thank you very much, it's just…

_What? Not enough for you?_

No it's enough for now, but I can't help it – I still love her.

_Well that sucks_.

Gee thanks. You're a big help.

_Well the way I see it you have three problems…_

Care to elaborate?

_Sure. Problem One is the fact that you are in love with Lily Evans. Problem Two is that chances of her loving you back are slim._

And Problem Three?

_That would be that you are sitting here talking to a voice in your head. You're an idiot. An insane idiot._

And so it continued. Sometimes though, James would think he saw Lily looking at him strangely, like she was trying to figure him out or like she was – disappointed? Disappointed in what though?

James put it out of his mind as Christmas holidays started. He and Lily and Sirius were the only ones staying. His friendship with Lily was starting to become a little tense though, for two separate reasons – the first was James continuous (and growing) feelings, and the second was that Lily was starting to ask about where they went with Remus on the full moon. James couldn't tell her – he trusted her, yeah, but this was a massive secret and he didn't want to burden her with it – and she was starting to resent it a little.

Christmas Day came, and brought with it an amazing snowball fight and some…unexpected…gifts…

The first gift was a conversation with Lily by the lake that he never in a million years thought he would be having. He asked her why she always stayed at Hogwarts over Christmas. She sighed and plopped onto a piece of grass without snow and he plopped next to her.

"Well…it's really because of my sister. She…she thinks I'm a freak." Lily gave a hollow laugh. "When we were little, we were best friends, me and Petunia. When we were kids, my father called us all his Bouquet. My name is Lily, my sister Petunia, my mother Rose, and our cat Lilac – we were a Bouquet. And we were all so close. And then I got my letter here. At first it wasn't so bad, but by second year she was becoming increasingly distant. Finally, in the summer before fifth year, she flat out called me a freak and said that she no longer wanted to be my sister because she was _normal_." Lily said the word scathingly. "Now when I go home she only speaks to me when necessary and barely ever looks at me."

James hesitated for a moment before he put his arm around her and drew her closer to him, praying that he wasn't crossing some line between them. He was surprised – pleasantly so – when she leaned into him and didn't push him away. He was relieved because having her so close to him, being able to hold her, it felt so _right_. She fit perfectly under his arm, and James allowed himself to daydream of a day when they could sit here and he could hold her, not because he was comforting her, but because he wanted to, because they were in love and happy and content and a million other things that part of his brain was telling him they would never be.

He snapped back to reality as she pulled away, and he was surprised to see that it was getting darker. They went back into the common room and sat in front of the fire for awhile. Sirius was nowhere to be seen. James noticed Lily dozing in her chair and nudged her awake, walking her to the stairs to the girls dormitory. She turned and hugged him goodnight, but as she pulled away, her eye was caught by something over their heads. James looked up and saw…mistletoe.

Great, just freaking great.

Lily was looking at him apprehensively, like she was afraid he was going to try something. He slowly took a step…backwards. He didn't want to push her, much as he would have loved to grab her and snog her senseless under that mistletoe – he didn't want to ruin his friendship with her just because he had been hopelessly in love with her for about two years now.

But she surprised him when she took a step forward. James looked at her, shocked.

"Don't think this changes anything, Potter," she said warningly. "It's only because it's mistletoe and I'm too tired to think straight." He nodded, speechless. Lily stood up on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his.

James got the answer to one of his many questions about Lily – yes, her lips were incredibly soft.

He started to pull back a little and was totally thrown when her arm went around his neck, keeping him where he was. And then _she_ deepened the kiss. Oh, yeah, James could _definitely_ die a happy man now.

He wasn't really sure how long they stood there kissing – one of his arms had wound around her waist and his other hand was tangled in her hair – but he could care less. If all of Gryffindor House had been standing there watching, James would not have cared at all. He wouldn't have moved one inch – no, make that a centimeter.

Eventually Lily pulled away. She stared at him for a minute before her cheeks turned as red as her hair. James stared back.

"Sorry – I just – oh damnit – I'm not really thinking clearly and I just – James I'm sorry – oh, I hope you're not mad – _oh my God_ this is horrible – I'm going to bed now – we can pretend that didn't happen – James I'm really, _really_, sorry!" Her eyes filled with tears and she practically bolted up the stairs to the girl's dormitory. James just stood there afterwards, thinking about what it had been like to kiss her. It was so much better than he could have imagined, and now only two words were running through his brain.

_Holy. SHIT._

There was no way he was going to be able to get over her now.

James recounted the story to Sirius the next day when Lily was in the library – probably avoiding him – and Sirius was delighted – "Yay Prongsie! You finally got to snog Evans!" "Padfoot, don't call me Prongsie!" "Oh, right – sorry Jamesie." "PADFOOT!" – but James was still worried about what this was going to do to their friendship.

Things remained slightly awkward between them until everyone got back from holiday and she no longer looked for an excuse to not be alone with him – neither of them was ever really alone anymore, someone else was always around. But the awkwardness did seem to disappear a little, and by February they were just starting to be normal again.

Some genius that year decided to schedule a Quidditch game on Valentine's Day, against Slytherin no less. Actually, it was a good thing – that way James had something to keep his mind off of Lily. He would never admit it to anyone – although he had a sneaking suspicion the Marauders already knew – but James thought about and dreamt about that Christmas kiss a lot. An almost unhealthy amount really.

The game went fairly well. Lily even came, after James begged her. The other Marauders begged her too, if only to get James to quit whining. Gryffindor won, thanks to James's amazing Seeking skills – unfortunately, ten seconds after winning the game, he took a Bludger to the back of the head, courtesy of a vindictive and angry Slytherin Beater.

He woke up that night in the hospital wing, and was surprised – pleasantly so – to see a redhead asleep in the chair next to him. He lifted up his hand and felt his head – thick bandages went all the way around. He winced, and then reached over to wake Lily up.

She started, and then looked around slowly. When she saw James was awake, she launched herself at him and hugged him tightly. Not that he was complaining or anything. Well maybe he complained a little when she was hugging him so tight – and around his neck, mind you – that she was practically choking him. Part of him even wondered if maybe she had been pretending to be his friend and she really still hated him, and was now seeking her revenge while he was helpless in his hospital bed…

Nah.

She finally let him go, and he was surprised to see tears in her eyes, making them seem even greener than usual. He smiled tentatively at her, and she responded by punching him – hard – in the arm.

"Don't _do_ that!" she exclaimed.

"Do what?"

"Scare me like that! I thought you were dead, you fell so far."

It was all James could do to keep a cocky smile from taking over his face – he had scared her? "Oh, well I'm sorry – I didn't mean to."

"Oh, I know you didn't mean to, James, but still…I don't want anything to happen to you." She blushed slightly – _she's so adorable_, James thought fondly.

"This is quite a turnaround, I must say. Last year you would have gladly been the one to smack that Bludger at me."

"Yeah, well…" she mumbled, looking at the ground. "That was last year. Now you're…you're…" He reached over and tilted her face up to look at him, inwardly praying. _What_ was he?

"You're my best friend," she finished softly. He dropped his and tried to keep his disappointment from showing on his face. Apparently, he failed.

"I'm sorry James," she continued quietly. "I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but it's all I can give you right now. I just don't feel that way about you. You _do_ mean a lot to me though. And I don't know what I would do without you anymore."

James sighed. "It's ok. I don't expect you to have any feelings for me, honestly. I know I treated you like crap for the last five years, and for that _I'm_ sorry. I'm just glad that you're my friend now, and you don't hate my guts anymore." She smiled at that, and reached over to give him another hug before leaving.

After that, their friendship was only stronger. James confided in her about things that only the other Marauders knew about, and she told him a few of her secrets too. She came to the last Quidditch game of the season at his pleading, and he continued to help her in Transfiguration.

Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup again, which mean that they had a tremendous lead in House points. Everywhere he went, people were clapping him on the back or praising his Quidditch skills, but he did his best not to let it go to his head. There were times when Lily would be around and someone made a comment, but instead of getting mad like she used to, she just rolled her eyes and laughed.

Everything was fine until the last full moon of the school year. The Marauders all went to the Shrieking Shack as usual and waited for Remus to transform. But this time, when they left and went wandering around the grounds like usual, they got careless. They wandered closer to the castle than they had ever before and there was a student on the front steps, looking up at the sky. Remus could sense the student and did everything he could to get close. James and Sirius had their work cut out for them, but before long they were both exhausted and Remus was only getting more and more riled up. Luckily, the student heard the howls and snapping and scampered back inside – but not before Remus had ripped some pretty good gashes in James right front leg. They managed to get Remus back to the Shack, and Sirius gave James a look that clearly said 'I've got it now, go get fixed up.'

James made it back to the castle somehow, but it was all a little fuzzy. He prayed that Lily would be sleeping in the common room like she usually did.

Luck was on his side that night, although Lily nearly screaming when she saw the blood on his arm wouldn't have been very fortunate. She mended him as best she could, Charms whiz that she was, but she was very, _very_ angry.

"I told you!" She whispered furiously. "I told you not to go with him when he transforms. You, Sirius, and Peter could all get really hurt! What if he bit one of you?"

"Lily," James replied tiredly. "He won't bite one of us. This is the first time he's ever gotten out of control."

"And I'm sure it won't be the last," she snapped. "James, _why_ would you put yourself at risk like that?"

"Lily, he's not a risk damnit! He never hurts us, because he can't!"

"James," she said in a softer tone. "When he's a werewolf, he doesn't know who you are. He doesn't remember that you three are his best friends. He _can_ hurt you."

"No, he can't. He doesn't."

"Explain, James."

"Lily.."

"James, I've had enough. I cannot stand the thought of you and the others risking your lives like this. Either explain how it is that he can't or won't hurt you, or so help me I will never speak to you again."

James gave up. She knew how to get to him, knew that the thought of her never speaking to him again was enough motivation to get him to divulge whatever secret he was carrying around.

"Fine." She looked pleased – sort of. "But not tonight. After the End of Term feast in two weeks, I promise, I will tell you everything." Lily looked slightly disappointed, but agreed nonetheless.

Things between them remained tense until the last day of school. James was just thankful that there wasn't another full moon this term, so he wouldn't have to worry about Lily doing anything to put herself or them at risk.

They both sat in the common room until it completely emptied. James went upstairs and retrieved his Invisibility Cloak. At first she thought that was the whole secret, but he explained that no, they were just using it to get out of the castle. She looked slightly apprehensive at this, but didn't protest.

Neither of them spoke in their journey through the castle and out onto the grounds. He led her towards the fringe of the Forbidden Forest. Once there they removed the cloak and Lily looked at James expectantly.

"Well, the thing is…you see, in third year, Sirius had this idea…for how we might be able to help Remus. We – we hated the thought of him having to…you know…transform…alone. So we thought about it and it was a good idea, although none of us expected to be able to do it so quickly, even Peter, I was astonished, I know the others were, because let's admit it, he's not the brightest is he? And so when we worked it out, it was amazing, and ever since-"

"James," Lily interrupted. "You aren't making any sense." He exhaled slowly.

"Right. Well…well then I guess…I guess I'll just show you…"

And he transformed into a stag, right there in front of her.

Lily's mouth almost hit the ground. He took a tentative step forward, and looked into her eyes – they were so green they put frogs to shame – and was surprised by what he saw. In the space of about five seconds, surprise, admiration, confusion, and a dawning comprehension and fear flicked through. He hoped he wasn't scaring her, and he _really_ hoped there wasn't some evil forest creature sneaking up behind him ready to kill them.

He took a few steps back when she raised her wand, but she shook her head mutely and he stopped moving. He had to strain his ears to hear the spell she cast.

"_Expecto Patronum_."

And out of her wand, onto the forest floor landed a bright, silver…doe?

James looked from the doe to Lily, saw the tears forming in her eyes, and felt realization begin to spark.

They had just finished learning about Patronuses in Defense Against the Dark Arts not long ago. He remembered the professor saying how each person's Patronus had a special meaning, and that more often than not, they were connected to the person that was considered their soulmate, or their true love. At the time, James had just scoffed at the 'romantic nonsense' he had called it, but now…

Everything was registering very slow, in bits and pieces for James.

He saw Lily, standing before him, tears threatening to pour down her face.

He saw the doe standing there peacefully, shining brightly, looking at him.

He could imagine himself as he was now, as a stag – for once, not in a conceited way either.

He could feel how much he loved Lily at that moment – it was like his heart was exploding in his chest, but in the best way possible.

All of this ran through James's head – he wasn't even focusing anymore, he was staring off somewhere, trying to process it all.

He barely registered the sudden dimness of the forest. When he did, he looked back, and saw that the Patronus was gone, and Lily was running back up to the castle.

James changed back and went after her, calling her name, but she had too great of a head start. By the time he got back to the common room, she was already in her dorm.

He sank down onto the floor in front of the now dead fire, not bothering with any of the furniture, and stared into the fireplace.

Lily's Patronus was a doe. And he was a stag as an Animagus. Patronuses had a meaning, even if the witch or wizard didn't know it. That meant that…

Lily and James _would_ end up together.

If he could ever get Lily to come near him again after tonight, that is.

But for once, James wasn't worried about that. He had a very good feeling about how things were going to work out between them.

And for the first time in nearly a year, James Potter allowed a small spring of hope to blossom in his chest.

**A/N:** Sorry it took so long for me to get this up! I didn't want to rush it, and I had so many conflicting ideas about how I wanted to do it all. Chapter Seven is going to be very long, longer than this I can tell already (and I haven't even started writing it yet!), but that's in part to make up for the fact that the epilogue is going to be _very_ short. I won't update until I have at least 15 reviews (and I don't care if someone reviews twice, as long as they have something constructive to say!), so PLEASE *kneels on floor* _**PLEASE**_ review! Thank you! Oh, and because I'm nice **_I'll give you a little hint of what's to come in Chapter Seven _**so that you want to review so that I update...

James and Lily get together (duh). There's another Christmas Ball and there's a massive incident that happens there. Lily's life is drastically altered.

That's all I can offer for now without giving EVERYTHING away (all though I'm sure y'all wouldn't mind).


	7. Year Seven Part One

**A/N:** I decided that with this chapter, I am going to emulate the seventh Harry Potter movie and split it in half. Two reasons. One, if I kept going the way I was, it was going to be _so_ insanely long, _nobody_ was going to want to read it all the way through. Two, I started having issues writing some spots (you should be able to tell, the writing gets really bumpy – sorry) and I didn't want to make y'all wait for me to finish the entire thing. So I will start working on the second half soon…this half is mainly happy/sappy/fluffy, and it kind of makes up for the angst that will be in the next half.

**Disclaimer**: If I own this, then you are a flying purple turtle who speaks fluent Russian (if you really do speak fluent Russian, you should teach me, I've always wanted to learn!!!).

For once, James absolutely couldn't _wait_ to get back to school. Usually he had the usual 'Yay school is starting and I get to see my friends and I get to see Lily and I get to play Quidditch' joy, but this year he was downright _ecstatic_. Two reasons.

One, he was Head Boy (and he was positive he knew who Head Girl was).

Two, he hadn't spoken to Lily since the whole 'Your Patronus means we are meant to be together' thing, but he knew she had to have thought about it almost as much as he had. And James had thought about it almost non-stop throughout the summer. Sirius had teased him mercilessly, even suggesting that they switch Animagi forms so that James could follow Lily around like a little puppy – much like he already did.

He had been hoping to run into her in Diagon Alley, but no such luck. He settled for seeing her on the train – even if she wasn't Head Girl, then she was still a prefect, she would be at the meeting they had at the beginning of every year.

Life decided to be nice to James – for the moment – Lily was Head Girl. He could imagine her shock when someone told her who Head Boy was.

They met in the prefect's carriage about twenty minutes before the actual meeting to discuss…whatever it is Heads discuss.

Lily was really uncomfortable – that much was obvious. She had offered him a quiet "Congratulations, James" when she saw him, but she didn't let them talk about anything else _but_ Head's duties and prefect meetings and Hogsmeade trips – maybe she would actually go with him this year, he thought hopefully – and

Another Ball? _What?_

"Yes James, another Ball. I got an owl from Dumbledore about five minutes before you showed up and he thought it would be lovely if we planned another Ball, since the last one was such a success. And you and I would be in charge of planning it. Oh, and we have to meet with Dumbledore right after the Start of Term feast."

James couldn't even think of anything to say – who was crazy enough to suggest that the last ball was a success? Did they not _know_ what had happened to James at that ball? How he had been forced to sit and watch Lily with another guy the entire night, and had come to the life-changing – but not necessarily in a bad way, only when she rejected him and he wanted to rip his heart out really…oh wait…that was every time, wasn't it? – conclusion that he was hopelessly in love with her? How was that night a success?

The prefects meeting took only a few minutes, and Lily darted out after them before James could even think of grabbing her arm. He was planning on chasing her down the train to talk to her, but a prefect grabbed his arm first, having some 'important' business to discuss with him – whether or not James would be interested in going to Hogsmeade with her for the first trip of the year? James quickly shook her off and tried to find Lily, but she hid really well.

He didn't see her again until their meeting with Dumbledore after the feast. And James got the most pleasant surprise of his life – well, sort of.

The Heads had their own dorms. Together. They shared a common room, but they each had a room and a bathroom. Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling when he delivered this most welcome news – well, welcome to James – Lily had gone slightly pale before flushing bright red.

This year was going to be interesting, to say the least, James thought.

Their stuff had already been taken up to their new room, behind a portrait of Godric and Genevieve Gryffindor – the password was _rubies_ – and they stopped just inside, looking around in awe. The entire room was decorated in red and gold – really, with two Gryffindors as Heads, what else would you expect? – with a fireplace and a plush red couch and a few armchairs in front of it. There were two doors on opposite sides of the room – one had a cursive L on it, the other a J.

Lily was staring around the room still. James was staring at Lily. Her hair was longer, almost halfway down her back now. She turned and met his eye. Blushing slightly, she averted her gaze and muttered something along the lines of "Very tired – going to go to bed – night James" before scurrying off to her room.

Sighing, James trudged morosely over to his door and opened it. His room was, to be predicted, mainly red and gold – he had a full size bed with a dark red comforter and a lot of pillows – one had a lion stitched onto it.

He didn't even bother unpacking. He just flopped onto his bed and closed his eyes, hoping that the situation with Lily would be improved after they had both had some sleep. The bed was very comfy…

Unfortunately, the situation did _not_ improve. Lily continued to avoid him. He tried to make regular conversation with her during patrols, not wanting to push her too much, but she gave mundane, one word replies and he usually gave up after about twenty minutes. Sometimes he even made it to thirty. Not often, but sometimes.

After three weeks, he'd had enough. He had Quidditch practice that night, and so he was already in a bad mood – the team had bloody sucked – and Lily had patrolled with a prefect instead. He walked into their common room, where she was reading on the couch. For once, _he_ ignored _her_ and went into his room to shower and change. Afterwards, he returned to the common room, where she was still reading – she tensed when he walked in the room though, he could tell, and he was fairly sure her eyes stopped moving across the page. After about two minutes, she left and went to her room without speaking to him. His relaxation from the shower evaporating, James did what any lovesick frustrated seventeen year old wizard would do.

He started yelling.

"LILY EVANS!"

She poked her head back out, looking a little terrified.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?" She stepped just outside her door, looking slightly confused.

"What do you-?" she began, but he cut her off.

"WHY THE _HELL_ HAVE YOU BEEN IGNORING ME AND AVOIDING ME SINCE SCHOOL STARTED?"

She flushed. "Oh, that."

"Yeah, that," he said, lowering his voice marginally.

"Well…I…I didn't know if…if _you_ wanted to talk…to _me_…" she trailed off. James arched an eyebrow.

"Why on _Earth_ would you think I wouldn't want to talk to you?"

"Because last time you and I talked there was that whole thing with your Animagus form and my P-Patronus, and I thought that maybe you wanted to avoid me because I know things between us were good, and then they got messed up and so-"

James could feel his frustration building again.

"WHY WOULD-" Lily flinched and James made an attempt to lower his voice, "Sorry – why would you think that things between us were messed up?"

"Because we were friends, but the whole stag-doe thing…it just…"

"Lily, we're _still_ friends," he said earnestly – he was no longer frustrated, he was confused.

For some reason, what he said seemed to spark a change in Lily – she stiffened slightly and her eyes hardened a little.

"Yes, of course we're _friends_, why would I think otherwise?" She laughed hollowly. James was utterly bewildered. "Bloody friends. Of course – it figures – friends – why I even thought otherwise, I'll never know-"

"Lily, you're starting to scare me a little. What's going on?"

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" she shrieked. "WHAT'S GOING ON IS YOU PURSUE ME FOR _YEARS_ AND MAKE MY LIFE _BLOODY_ _MISERABLE_. THEN WE BECOME FRIENDS – AND THEN THAT WHOLE THING HAPPENED, AND JUST WHEN – _JUST WHEN_ – I FIGURE OUT WHAT I FEEL FOR YOU, YOU HAVE TO GO AND SAY WE'RE _FRIENDS_!" She threw her hands up in the air. James was completely and utterly bewildered. She couldn't be saying that…that she maybe thought…that there was _something_ there…that she felt something for him…could she? And he was completely thrown by the fact the Lily Evans was standing in front of him, _swearing_.

"Lily…I don't – I don't follow what you're-"

She swore under her breath before looking up at him – damn, don't make eye contact! Her eyes will eat you! Don't…too late –and sighing.

"James," she said softly. He waited for her to continue, was mentally _begging_ her to continue, but she opened and closed her mouth and a resigned look came over her face. "Never mind," she continued, before turning to go back into her room.

He didn't know what made him do it, really. He was just glad later that he had. All he knew was that he crossed the room in about two strides, grabbed her wrist, yanked her around to face him, and covered her mouth with his.

She froze, and he was afraid he'd just made a massive mistake. He started to pull away, but she wound her arms around his neck and kept him where he was. He was actually starting to get a little feeling of déjà vu, actually – not that he minded all that much.

When the need for oxygen became too much, they broke apart. James had to admit, he was quite proud of himself – her lips were swollen, her hair slightly mussed, and her eyes glazed. He cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.

"Well, well, well," she drawled, looking flushed. He didn't really know how to respond, so he just held her face in his hands, one of his thumbs absentmindedly stroking her cheek. "That was interesting." James just nodded. "Why Mr Potter, are you at a loss for words?" He nodded again – was she _flirting_ with him? This night just kept getting stranger and stranger.

"Well, I bet _I_ know what will make you talk," she continued. He arched an eyebrow. "Actually, no, this might just make you even more speechless." James was now determined not to say anything, and settled for giving her a look that said 'try me'.

Lily took a deep breath. "James Potter – will you go out with me?" She turned bright red but her eyes were determined and she held his gaze.

He was right – that _did_ make him speechless. It may have even made his jaw drop – he was so stunned he didn't even know. She was still looking at him, a little bit of uncertainty creeping into her eyes.

"You know, Potter, you could hurt a girl's feelings if you don't say something…" James lowered his head until his lips were inches from hers.

"Yes."

Lily smirked – the part of James's brain that _wasn't_ doing a happy dance registered this.

"Told you I could get you to talk," she whispered back.

They didn't speak much for the rest of the night. (**A/N:** I know what some of you are thinking – they only snogged – brains out of the gutter!)

They stayed up until about two, when Lily finally started dozing with her head on his shoulder. Carefully, James picked her up and carried her into her room and tucked her in. Her room was essentially the same as his, but with a few feminine touches.

He overslept slightly the next morning, and Lily had already gone down to get breakfast – he was slightly disappointed that they wouldn't be able to make some kind of grand entrance and shock the hell out of everyone, but he knew that the students of Hogwarts would be shocked no matter _how_ they found out.

She was just sitting at the table with the other Marauders. Nobody paid any attention to the fact that James Potter and Lily Evans were friends anymore – it was old news. He couldn't help but grin at the fact that the Hogwarts gossip chain was about to be spreading around the biggest news of the year.

He sat down next to her as if it was no big deal, despite the goofy grin on his face. He saw the other Marauders looking at him curiously, and felt rather than saw their shock when he leaned over and kissed Lily on the cheek. She blushed and giggled – all he had wanted since fourth year was to hear her giggle for him – and both of them turned to look at the gaping faces of their friends.

It was the same look they got when they walked to class with their arms around each other's waists and when one of the girls usually throwing themselves at James saw them kissing. He could practically feel the envy and hatred radiating off the girls towards Lily. But most of the time, neither of them cared – they were both blissfully happy.

People were still talking about them all the way through November, but James still didn't care – he was falling more hopelessly in love with Lily every day, every time he looked at her, and part of him was hoping that maybe she was falling in love with him too. That was the part where the conceited section of his brain usually took over – _of course she's in love with you, _everyone's_ in love with you!_

James also admired the way she was dealing with the fact that some of the girls at school simply refused to accept that James was taken – for good this time. One of them even had the nerve to ask James to Hogsmeade when Lily was standing right there holding his hand. She started squeezing his hand rather tightly and he knew that if he didn't act fast this girl was going to end up in the Hospital Wing. He gave her a quick no and said he already had a date – for the rest of the Hogsmeade trips for the year. He could just picture the smirk Lily was giving the girl – all he could see was the top of her head, really – and let her enjoy it for a moment before dragging her off to an empty classroom for a half-hour.

They were still planning the Christmas Ball as well, trying to top the one from three years ago. James was now quite happy about the Ball since he was guaranteed to have the most beautiful date there. They had considered the idea of a Masquerade, but decided against having an outright theme.

He came back from the full moon one night at about three and found Lily on the couch, asleep as usual. She still tried to wait up for him, but he invariably found her completely out on the couch and carried her back to her bed. Tonight was different though – instead of the peacefully dozing, sometimes muttering Sleeping Lily he usually found, tonight he found tossing and turning apparently-having-a-nightmare-Lily. It took him almost five whole minutes to wake her up, and even then he wasn't sure_ he_ had – it seemed like it had been something in her dream because she sat bolt upright, eyes wide, tears pouring down her cheeks before she collapsed against him.

He stroked her hair and tried his best to comfort her even though he didn't really know what was wrong. When it seemed like she had finally calmed down a little, he picked her up like he did most other nights, with her head still buried in the crook of his neck, and carried her into her room. He had tucked her in, kissed her on the forehead, and was going to walk back to his own room when she caught his wrist and looked up at him with puffy, bloodshot eyes.

"James, can you – would you stay with me tonight?" She asked timidly.

"Of course," he replied without hesitation. "I'll be right back, ok?" He went to his room and changed before returning to Lily and sitting next to her on her bed – on top of the covers, of course. She snuggled next to him and he wrapped an arm around her waist. His other hand continued to stroke her hair until she fell asleep. James didn't let _himself_ fall asleep until he was sure she wasn't having another nightmare.

Thankfully the next morning was Saturday – he was so comfortable lying next to Lily he would have slept through all his classes. When he _did_ wake up, he saw her fuzzy outline (his glasses were on her nightstand) looking down at him and he could feel her running her hands through his hair. She laughed – damn her laugh was amazing, it still made his stomach flip – and suggested they go get breakfast.

It became almost a ritual, really. Sometimes Lily would wake up screaming and James would come running and stay with her the rest of the night, or she would wake up scared and come to him. But she refused to tell him what the nightmares were about, always changing the subject. He imagined it was something to do with the growing war, led by Lord Voldemort. James had to admit, it was quite scary to think about, but he knew that Lily was probably terrified for her family and for herself – Voldemort hated Muggles and Muggleborns. But, James thought, to get to Lily, Lord Voldy-Moldy was going to have to go through him.

It was also kind of becoming a problem – on the nights that Lily _didn't_ have nightmares, they stayed in their separate beds and James was starting to have trouble sleeping without her. But it wasn't like he could go up to her and say "Hey, can you have one of those horrible nightmares every night so that I can sleep better?"

The Christmas Ball crept closer and James was getting asked practically every day by some girl. He always said no and was always completely dumbfounded as to _why_ these girls thought he would take _them_ instead of his girlfriend! Finally, after two weeks of this, James stood up on the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall during breakfast one December morning.

"EXCUSE ME!" he shouted, ignoring Professor McGonagall's voice telling him to get down. "I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE!" Gradually the talking died down and James lowered his voice; the girls in the school were looking at him avidly, some with a little hope on their faces. "Since so many of you have been asking me to the Christmas Ball, I am going to take it upon myself to inform everyone that I will be going with _Lily Evans_, my fellow Head student and my _girlfriend_," he emphasized the word, "so the rest of you can stop asking me damnit! Thank you," he added, before stepping off the table and kissing Lily soundly.

Girls stopped asking after that.

And James was slightly happy to discover that Lily was having the same problem sleeping he was – only slightly because James didn't like the idea of _anything_ troubling or bothering his Lily Flower.

James was woken up one night by Lily sitting on his bed, just watching him.

"I couldn't sleep," she said simply. He reached over and put his glasses on, then grabbed her hand and pulled her to him.

"Another nightmare?" She shook her head and pulled herself closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Just couldn't sleep. I don't sleep really well anymore." He could feel her take a deep breath. "Not unless you're next to me, anyways."

He knew she had to be able to feel his heart thudding in his chest.

"I love you James."

Wow. So that's what that felt like. He could feel a giant silly grin taking up residence on his face, and he knew he would never get it off. _Ever_. Her words kept echoing through his brain. She loved him. _She_ loved _him_. He felt like he was floating up on a cloud above Hogwarts.

Lily's voice pulled him back down. "James?" He looked down at her at lying next to him. She looked a little worried.

"It – it's okay," she said quietly, pulling back a little. "If you don't – don't love – me too. We've only been dating for, what, a month? A month and a half?" Lily gave a nervous laugh. "Don't worry, I – I get it – I, umm…I think maybe I'll just…" she made to move off the bed but he grabbed her and pulled – yanked her, more like – her back to him.

"Don't even think about it," he murmured into her hair. He dipped his head to look at her. She was scared and…hurt? Did she think he didn't love her anymore?

"Lily, I love you too," he said softly. He could feel her relaxing in his arms. "Come on – I've been in love with you since fourth year, you know that!" She nodded and pressed her head into his chest.

"And," he added as an afterthought, "I have just the solution for your sleeping problem. Actually, it's _our_ sleeping problem, seeing as how I've been having the same one. You will be sleeping in here with me from now on." He hoped he wasn't crossing some kind of line or pushing her too fast, but she simply tucked her head under his chin and offered up a quiet "ok" before falling fast asleep.

James was extremely content. He could easily picture the rest of his life like this, seeing Lily every day, getting to kiss her, fall asleep next to her, and wake up with her in his arms every morning.

His main concern now was what to get her for Christmas. He didn't want to get her books, because everyone would get her that, and he didn't want to give her chocolate because that's really something you receive from your boyfriend on Valentine's Day, not Christmas.

He found the perfect gift for her in a Hogsmeade shop window Christmas Eve (yes, I know, shame on Jamesie for not getting his girlfriend a present _before_ Christmas Eve) when she was distracted by something one of her friends was saying. Since he obviously couldn't buy it right then, when she was standing there, he decided to sneak back into Hogsmeade and buy it that evening…he would have to get Sirius to distract her, otherwise she would ask him a million questions and – since he couldn't refuse her anything – she would get an answer. And James _really_ didn't want to spoil her Christmas present.

After he bought it and returned to the Heads Common Room, he made sure to keep his face carefully blank when Lily asked him where he had been. He shrugged and smiled at her. She arched an eyebrow, but said nothing else and scooted over so he could sit on the couch next to her. He did, and then spread out so he was taking up pretty much the entire thing. She threw him a disgruntled look, then squealed when he reached over and grabbed her and pulled her to lay on top of him. She sighed and wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head right under his chin – he always marveled at how she fit there so perfectly, in his arms, more-so than any other girl ever had. James couldn't help but sigh too. He already knew this was going to be his best Christmas ever – it wasn't even Christmas morning yet and James already had everything he had ever wanted or needed. In fact, the _only_ thing James could ever remember needing was lying in his arms right now, and from the sound of her deep, even breathing, she had fallen asleep. James smiled contentedly, tiredly, before he drifted off as well.

Please review! I want to know how I'm doing!! Thank you!!


	8. Year Seven Part Two

Searing, gut wrenching pain. _So this is what it feels like to have your heart broken_, James thought aimlessly. He wondered how it was possible that it was even still beating inside his chest when he could have sworn it had been left next to the pure white lily, on the floor in the Entrance Hall where Lily had walked away from him.

And today had been going so well. They had woken up on the couch and started unwrapping their presents. She had gotten him books – what else – on famous Seekers and Quidditch tactics. And she had loved her present.

_She opened the small box he had given her. His heart was pounding. Inside sat a small ring, a band of stars._

"_It – it's not meant to – to be like an – an engagement ring," he had said tentatively, "if that's what you're thinking. I just saw it in Hogsmeade and I thought it was perfect."_

_She looked up at him, her eyes shining with tears, before launching herself at him and knocking both of them over._

"_It _is_ perfect, James. Thank you so much." She smiled down at him, feeling him slide the ring on her left hand. "I love you."_

Everything had been perfect, and now, in less than a day – less than twelve hours – everything was in ruins. Him and Lily…over…

There was that pain in his chest again. Any other day, he would have been worried and gone to the hospital wing to get it checked out. But tonight, of all nights, he knew what was wrong.

The pain was still there when he woke up, and it stayed for awhile. She wouldn't look at him, wouldn't talk to him, avoided him at all costs. They were both patrolling with prefects now, instead of each other. It was like she was ripping off a little piece of his heart every day – at this rate, he would be dead by April.

He didn't blame her for how she was acting – he would have done the same thing, if _he_ had seen what she had.

"_Lily, come on! I'm sure you look perfect! We're going to be late!" James looked at his watch again and sighed – they really _were_ going to be late to the Christmas Ball if she didn't hurry, and as Head students, they had to greet everyone, something James was really not looking forward to._

_Finally, five minutes later Lily walked out of her room._

_James forgot everything about some Christmas Ball they were supposed to be at. He was just going to stand there and stare at her all damn night._

_Her hair fell in soft waves around her face – she had French braided it earlier, and he assumed he was looking at the result. Her make-up was subtle and yet still drew attention to her cheekbones and her emerald eyes. Her dress was white and gold, with a strap over her left shoulder, the colors swirling over the entire dress, all the way down to the floor. There was a slit over her right leg that came to just above her knee. She was so insanely gorgeous – way more than she had been fourth year, and he hadn't thought that was possible – that all he could do was stare._

_Finally pulling himself together, he conjured a pure white lily and tucked it behind her left ear._

The sharpness of the pain finally faded to a dull ache as the end of January neared. He knew that it wasn't because he was moving on or getting over her or anything – that would never happen – it just wasn't possible for him to _get over_ her. He was just learning to live with it. He figured that was what he was going to have to do for the rest of his life now.

He didn't even pay any attention to all the whispers flying around about him and Lily. Sirius and Remus and Peter were doing the best they could to help him, but they all knew there was only one person he really needed. But none of them could get her for him.

By the end of January, James also began to notice that Lily was getting thinner and the shadows under her eyes were darkening. It almost killed him – although how much closer to death could he get? – to know that _he_ was the one who was doing this to her, making her practically waste away right before his eyes. Her friends would try to get her to eat at mealtimes, but she usually only ate a few mouthfuls before pushing her plate away.

She had even gone to Dumbledore to ask for permission to move back into Gryffindor Tower. James was grateful that Dumbledore had gently refused her. At least while they had to live together, she still had to deal with him sometimes. And he could still watch her.

_He was exhausted. He and Lily had been dancing all night and it was already eleven thirty. Half an hour before this thing was over and he could just go sit in the Heads Common Room with his girlfriend; he could stare at her in peace and hold her and tell her over and over and over again how much he loved her._

_Speaking of his Lily Flower…she came over with their butterbeers and sat next to him at their table. Her face was still flushed._

_Two bottles later, he was sufficiently cooled down and also desperately needed to use the bathroom. He left Lily with a quick kiss on the cheek._

James was having even worse trouble sleeping than before. More often than not, he pulled on his Invisibility Cloak and either wandered the castle or sat in front of the fire – still invisible, should Lily come out – until he fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion.

One night Lily did come out. As soon as her heard her door knob turning he moved swiftly off the couch and over into the shadows. He was invisible, but he also didn't want her to hear him breathing or any noise he might make.

She lowered herself onto the carpet in front of the almost dead fire – she re-lit it with a careless wave of her wand – and just stared, with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. James saw a tear trickle down her cheek, and she reached up and touched it tentatively, like she hadn't even known it was there. And then she collapsed into sobs – heart-wrenching sobs that made it difficult for James to breathe. His vision became blurry, and before he knew it, tears were rolling down his face as well.

She finally cried herself to sleep there on the floor, and James just couldn't help himself – he took off the Invisibility Cloak and laid it on the back of a chair before quietly walking over to her and picking her up. He laid her down on the couch and covered her with the quilt draped across the back.

"_Hey, James!" He turned to the voice in question. A tall blonde – one of the sixth year Slytherin prefects, if he remembered correctly – was striding up to him. He arched an eyebrow impatiently – the Ball was over in ten minutes and he wanted to share one last dance with Lily._

_The blonde stopped in front of him, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. "Hi," she said coyly._

"_What?" he replied bluntly._

"_Well," she drawled, one hand still twirling her hair, the other stroking his arm, "I was just wondering if maybe you would dance with me?"_

"_No thanks."_

"_Please? Pretty please?" He shook his head. She pouted. "Well, then will you go to Hogsmeade with me sometimes?" James looked at her, disgusted._

"_No."_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because I have a girlfriend. One that I love very much."_

"_Oh, you mean the little Mudblood-"_

"_Don't – you – dare," he hissed, stepping closer to her. "She is a million times the person you would ever be. Don't you _ever_ use that word about her! If you weren't a girl, I would have slammed your head into that stone wall over there and-"_

_She cut him off by firmly grabbing his dress robes and pulling him to her. She kissed him._

_James was so shocked that he just stood there for a few seconds before he finally pushed her away. She smirked._

"_Don't _ever_ touch me again," he whispered, his voice so low he was surprised she could hear it. Her eyes flicked to something over his shoulder and stayed there. He spun around._

"_Lily."_

Sometime in February – who needed to know the dates anymore? – Remus and Sirius came to him with a strange request: they wanted his memories of the night of the Christmas Ball. He gave them to him, not caring what they needed them for. They took the small silver-filled vials and left him.

The teachers were piling on the work – N.E.W.T.s were approaching and they wanted them to be prepared. Whatever time James wasn't spending at Quidditch practice or in the Heads Room, he spent in the library. Sometimes he went there in the hopes that Lily would be sitting there studying and he could just watch her. But whenever he showed up, she would leave a few minutes later.

Her grades in Transfiguration were suffering slightly, he knew. His Charms grade wasn't that great either. That class was Lily's favorite subject, and it was filled with memories of watching Lily over the years, her teaching him how to master a certain spell, the time she had charmed his quills to chase him down the hall after he asked her out for the billionth time…

"_Lily," he repeated in a whisper._

_She stood there staring at him, disbelief and hurt written all over her face. Her shoes were in her hand – he remembered her complaining about how uncomfortable they were. He took a step towards her – she turned and ran._

_He stood there, stunned, not knowing exactly what had happened. He felt a hand slide up his arm to his shoulder and voice in his ear whispered seductively_

"_Well, that takes care of that. Now, how about that Hogsmeade trip?"_

_James took off running after her._

_She had a head start, but his legs were longer and he knew she was heading towards the Heads Common Room._

_He found her in the entrance hall, on the ground on her knees, sobbing into her hands. Judging by the slight rip in her dress, he guessed she had tripped and fallen._

"_Lily."_

_Her head snapped up and she scrambled to her feet, backing away from him._

"_Get away from me." James recoiled slightly at the fury and pain in her voice. The hurt in her eyes was making his chest feel like it was tearing in two._

"_Please…"_

"_No, damnit, I said get away from me."_

"_Lily, I didn't-"_

"_Didn't what? Stick your tongue down some blonde tramp's throat?" She pressed her hands into her eyes, her hair falling forward over her shoulders. She shook her head slightly before looking back up at him. Her eyes were hard._

"_I guess I should have seen this coming. I finally go out with you after all these years – I should have known it wasn't enough, that you would get bored. I can't believe I thought that maybe, _maybe,_ you actually loved me."_

"_Lily-" he began desperately, taking a step towards her. He had to make her understand that he hadn't cheated on her, that he wasn't _capable_ of cheating on her._

"_Shut. Up." She had her wand out now – where had she been keeping it? – and it was aimed at his chest. "I don't ever want to speak to you again, Potter. Don't touch me, don't come near me, don't try to talk to me. Just – just stay away from me," she finished, the last words coming out with a tremor that was enough to reveal all her pain to James._

_She started to walk away, and stopped. A small blossom of hope appeared in James's chest._

_It vanished – painfully – when she reached up, pulled the lily out of her hair, and dropped it on the ground._

_The next morning, he woke up to find the ring he had given her for Christmas on his pillow._

Valentine's Day – complete with a Hogsmeade visit. James had to fight the urge to pull out his wand and _Reducto_ every last little pink heart floating around. The Marauders dragged him to Hogsmeade that day, insisting a visit to Zonko's would cheer him up. And it did, marginally. The whole day was going as well as could be expected anymore until they walked into The Three Broomstick's.

Lily was sitting in there with her friends, who clearly had dragged her along. She looked miserable.

She looked up when they entered, her eyes meeting James's – she looked away first and said something to Alice, her best friend. Alice looked up, and her gaze hardened when she spotted James. Quickly, Lily and her friends left, brushing past the Marauders – some of them shoved into James deliberately, and he really couldn't blame them.

The Marauders trudged back up to the castle, three of them chattering excitedly about their new items from Zonko's. The fourth was watching a head of red hair walking up towards the castle ahead of him.

He didn't even notice when the three of them left after they got back inside. He wandered back to the Heads Common Room.

Lily was in there, sitting on the window seat. She turned her head slightly when he walked in, but otherwise ignored him. He just stood there and stared at her. He knew it would make her uncomfortable and hoped that after awhile she would look at him and maybe even say something – even if it was just "Sod off Potter".

He was right – eventually she did turn to look at him.

James could feel his heart shattering as her beautiful green eyes met his hazel ones. He opened his mouth to speak, but he had no idea what to say. He closed it again. He took a step towards her, and her eyes flashed a warning. He took another step.

"Don't."

That's all she said – that was all she had to say. He stopped.

An owl was tapping on the other window. James went to let it in, and it soared over to Lily and dropped a letter at her feet. She leaned over and picked it up, her brow furrowing as she read.

James went back to his room, slid into bed, and did his best to go to sleep. He heard the portrait swing open and closed again, and knew Lily must have left.

For the next few days, he noticed Lily eating a little more and the shadows under her eyes lessening. Every now and then, she even looked at him. In Transfiguration, where she sat slightly behind him, he could feel her gaze burning into his back. James did his best not to get his hopes up – she still thought he had cheated on her, and he knew she would never forgive that.

The oddest thing was, he sometimes caught Sirius and Remus looking at Lily anxiously, especially during mealtimes, when she went to leave. Their heads snapped up and their eyes followed her out of the Hall every time, looking at her with…impatience? Whenever James asked them what was going on, they just shrugged and hastily changed the subject.

He found out though, one night at the end of February.

James never really fell asleep anymore – he tossed and turned until he could doze off for an hour or so, before jerking awake, usually with the scene from the Christmas Ball replaying in his mind.

But tonight, he was woken up by the sound of his door opening, slowly. He stayed still – it had to be Lily, who else could it be? He contemplated reaching for his wand, but he didn't have his glasses on, and he couldn't see at all without them, and Lily could fire off a jinx faster than he could say 'crap'.

He felt his bed sink slightly.

"James?" She whispered softly. He sat up and tried to find his glasses and was surprised when she placed them in his hand. Sliding them on, he was surprised to see that she was crying.

"Lily," he began tentatively, "is everything okay?" She shook her beautiful red head. Her next words came out in a rush.

"No, everything is wrong, I ruined it all, damnit. I should have known you wouldn't cheat on me, that you weren't capable of doing that to me, I just saw you kissing her and it broke my heart and I couldn't think straight, and I'm so, so sorry that I didn't trust you, because I could have saved us both a lot of pain and I totally understand if you can't get past the fact that I was willing to believe the worst of you and if you hate me, I get that too, but I can't be without you anymore because I love you so damn much-" and she collapsed into sobs.

James was so stunned all he could do was reach out and pull her to him. He lay back down on the bed, holding her close to him while she cried, occasionally stroking her hair and trying to comfort her. Finally, she calmed down enough for him to talk.

"Lily, I honestly don't blame you for not trusting me when you saw that. Considering the type of guy I used to be, I'm surprised you didn't hex me on the spot. I'm not mad because you didn't trust me, and I most certainly do _not_ hate you. I couldn't possibly hate you – it would be like hating half of myself. I'm just glad that you finally realized it. What _did_ make you realize it, by the way?"

She sniffed, and scooted closer to him before answering.

"Remus and Sirius."

"Confused."

"They – they showed me the – your memories from that night. The Christmas Ball. I saw the whole thing this time, and I heard everything the two of you said to each other." She sniffed again. "How she called me that – that word," James felt his blood boil just thinking about it, and he gripped Lily tighter, "and you told her off – or started to – and then she grabbed you and kissed you – and you…you shoved her away and told her not to touch you. And then she saw me and you saw me, and I ran and –" She dissolved into sobs again.

"Oh, I just wanted so badly to curse her into oblivion for even _thinking_ of touching you and it just made me so damn mad," she finished, hiccupping slightly.

They just lay there for awhile, enjoying being in each other's arms again. James was even starting to drift off to sleep when Lily's voice startled him.

"Where's my ring?"

"Hmm?" he asked groggily.

"The ring you gave me on Christmas. You – you still have it…right?"

"Oh, yeah," he said softly, rolling to the other side of the bed and standing up. He had put it back in its box and kept it in his dresser, hoping that there would be a day when he could give it back to Lily.

James pulled the ring out of the box and sat back down next to Lily on the bed. She smiled up at him – he got lightheaded – as he slid the ring back where it belonged.

The next morning they shocked the Great Hall _again_ when they walked in hand in hand and laughing at something or other. James could see Lily shooting death glares at the Slytherin girl who had caused the whole thing. The Marauders looked deeply relieved, because, as Sirius put it, "We were tired of listening to poor wittle Jamesie moan about how miserable he was without you, Evans – it was like we were in fourth year all over again."

Even McGonagall and Flitwick looked relieved – now Lily and James's grades would get back to where they had been.

The rest of the year flew by. The teachers kept piling on the N.E.W.T practice and Lily, James, and every other seventh year practically lived in the library. There were two more Hogsmeade visits and the last Quidditch game of the year to look forward to – Gryffindor all but had the Quidditch and House Cups again – but to James these things were bittersweet. He knew he was going to miss Hogwarts so much. This was where he had met his three best friends – and they were leaving behind a legend – and he met Lily. James knew he owed Hogwarts big time for bringing Lily into his life.

The final Quidditch game of the year, in April, ended in a way that nobody could have possibly predicted – even James.

Everything was going well – Gryffindor was kicking ass and taking names as always – after twenty minutes, the score was 90-20.

Five minutes later, and he had spotted the Snitch – he raced towards it, way ahead of the Ravenclaw Seeker. His hand had just closed around it when a Bludger slammed into his back. Luckily he was close to the ground – he blacked out instantly from the pain.

When he came to a few minutes later, his head was being cradled in Lily's lap in the middle of the Quidditch field. A few tears where dripping down her cheeks, but when she saw him open his eyes, she smiled and her eyes lit up.

"Hey Evans," he said casually. "How's it goin'?" She gave him a confused look.

"Why are you holding my head? I thought you hated me." Worry creased Lily's face.

"James, do you know what year you are?"

"Sure," he replied easily, only feeling slightly bad for messing with her like this. "Fifth year." Lily paled.

James couldn't help it – he laughed.

"Relax Lily – I'm kidding. I'm a seventh year, Head Boy, and you, my beautiful Lily-flower, are Head Girl _and_ my girlfriend."

"James Potter!" She shrieked. "Don't _do_ that! You really scared me there!"

"Sorry," he replied meekly. "But honestly, Lily, the Bludger hit me in the _back,_ not the head this time."

"James…" she said warningly. He rolled his eyes – he could only think of one way to keep her from going off on him.

He placed a hand behind her neck, pulled her head down, and snogged the living daylights out of her right there on the Quidditch pitch.

She was shocked, but she responded enthusiastically – as always – and James could vaguely hear the commentator saying something about how obviously James was in perfect health.

She finally pulled back and gazed down at him.

He didn't know what made him say it – people always asked him later, Lily especially, why, of all times, he picked now? But in all honesty, it just fell out of his mouth. Occasionally he would blame it on her eyes – he looked at them and became hypnotized and just said the first thing that popped into his head.

"Marry me?"

Her eyes got as big as saucers before he realized what he had said. It was ridiculous, really – they were only seventeen, they hadn't been together that long, and they were still in school. _But_, a small voice in the back of his head interrupted, _you don't ever want to lose her again do you? _ No. _You love her, right?_ Yes. _And you want to spend the rest of your life with her, correct?_ Absolutely. _Then it's not ridiculous._ I guess.

"James…"

"Just think about it," he whispered, aware of the fact that more people were gathering around to make sure he really was alright. She nodded.

The Marauders were trying to come up with a big enough prank to make sure the school never forgot their names. Remus, of all people, came up with the perfect one.

They took their N.E.W.T.s, and he and Lily were so exhausted that often one of them was asleep long before the other even made it back to the Heads Rooms. He could only hope that all of this was worth it – he could become an Auror, and she could be a Healer. She had confessed to him last year that that's what she wanted to do – to make people better, and fix whatever was wrong with them. James had no doubt that she would be wonderful at it. She had fixed him up sixth year like it was nothing.

The End of Term Feast finally came – the last one for the Marauders and Lily. James kept squeezing Lily's hand reassuringly under the table. He knew how much Hogwarts meant to her and how much she was dreading having to leave. But he was going to be there with her, no matter what, whether she liked it or not – he had a feeling she would.

As the main course was clearing away and the desserts were appearing, James looked at the other Marauders and nodded. It was time – their final prank before they left these hallowed halls.

Simultaneously, they each pulled a few custom made fireworks from their bags, careful to keep the movements subtle so the teachers wouldn't see. James also pulled something else from his bag and slipped it into his pocket.

They counted to three silently, and all prodded the ends of the fireworks with their wands and released them into the air.

Some flew over to the Slytherin table and repeatedly spelled "YOU SUCK" over their heads. Some wrote out "THANK YOU" to the teachers – Remus had insisted on that one. Two erupted into giant roaring lions who promptly ate the Slytherin banner and then proceeded to run up and down the aisles in between the tables. One went and flew up Snivellus's robes – take that, James thought maliciously, for everything you ever did to my friends and for everything you ever did that hurt Lily – while another chased a Hufflepuff around the room. One turned into a giant Snitch that fluttered around the ceiling. James's second favorite – one that he designed himself – erupted over his head and wrote, over and over, "JP + LE 4EVER" – Lily giggled and blushed when she saw that one.

A few of the Slytherins tried to Vanish or Stun or somehow stop the fireworks. All they did was piss off the lions and give them the ability to breathe fire, and make the words "YOU SUCK" write even larger and flashier.

Sirius lit what he thought was the final firework. It exploded, and above their heads wrote:

**Courtesy of the Marauders: Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs bid you farewell**

Everyone burst out laughing.

James screwed up his courage and pulled out one last firework – one that the other Marauders were unaware he had made.

It burst into the air and everyone fell silent as they read it:

**Lily Evans, will you marry me?**

James had dropped to his knee next to her and was holding out a ring – his grandmother's emerald ring to be exact – to Lily. He could see, out of the corner of his eye, the shocked faces of the Marauders. But all of his attention was focused on the redhead in front of him.

"James…" she whispered softly, in a tone that clearly showed how shocked she was.

"Well?" He asked hopefully. Everything in him was praying she would say yes – he didn't think he could take it if she said no, there in front of everyone.

They stared at each other for a long moment, and a tear slowly rolled down her cheek. The hall was completely quiet, except for the still popping fireworks – it was as if everyone was holding their breath.

Slowly, Lily's lips curved up into a smile.

"Yes."

James felt as if his heart was exploding in his chest – it was the best feeling in the world. He slid the ring on her finger and picked her up, spinning her around before setting her down and kissing her soundly.

"SHE SAID YES!" He bellowed when they finally broke apart. Lily laughed at his exuberance as the Hall around them burst into cheers and clapping and whistles (thank you Sirius).

James looked down at Lily, still unable to believe this was all really happening.

"Yes?" He whispered quietly, pressing his forehead to hers.

She sighed and closed her eyes, another smile playing at her lips. He absentmindedly ran his fingers through a few strands of her hair. They were both oblivious to everyone else by now.

Lily opened her eyes again and met his gaze. James was stunned by the amount of love he saw there. He could clearly remember all the expressions he had ever seen flick through those gorgeous eyes – disgust, anger, confusion, frustration, hope, happiness, sorrow, hurt, pain – but never that amount of love.

"Yes."

**A/N:** THE END! Well, except for the Epilogue. Please let me know what you thought! I loved writing this chapter, the angst and the mushy parts, and I hope y'all enjoyed reading it! So let me know! REVIEW!


	9. Epilogue

**A/N:** So this is it. The end of my first multi-chapter fan-fic. *Sniffle* This one is my baby, and I'm so glad that everyone liked it as much as they did - it means a lot to me. Please visit my profile and see my other stories now!

This epilogue is dedicated to my reviewers: **alyssasmile, LOLhaily, Book-Mania-Girl520, sammieginny, hypotheticnerd, PleaOfInsanity, TheNewWeasleyGirl, **and **Evansgirl27**, with extra hugs going out to **LOV3theARTS, Lady Aleksandra, PhoebeLynn, **and** Lili Evans dotcom** for reviewing multiple times.

Enjoy!

* * *

It's true what they say you know. About how when faced with death your life flashes before your eyes. It did for James Potter anyways.

He knew how it was all going to end the second he heard that twig snap outside. He knew it was Voldemort and he knew that he and Lily weren't going to live through this. He could only hope that somehow, Harry would.

He had shoved Lily upstairs with Harry, telling her one last time that he loved her.

He heard the front door blow apart and that's when it started – his life – with Lily – flashing before his eyes.

James saw everything – the day he met Lily on the train, saw her be Sorted into Gryffindor. Every time she turned him down. The fight in fifth year, her apology at the beginning of sixth. The kiss under the mistletoe sixth year. Saying he was her best friend and hugging him.

Voldemort slowly made his way down the hall towards the living room.

He saw her again as she had been the night of the Christmas Ball fourth year. When he showed her his Animagus form and she showed him her Patronus. Saw her asking him out and blushing so adorably in seventh year. Telling him she loved him. Watched her run away from him during that horrible misunderstanding at the Ball that same year, and watched her crawl back into his bed to be held by him when she finally believed – acknowledged that she had known all along – that he hadn't cheated on her, that he wasn't _capable_ of cheating on her, because all he needed was her.

Voldemort entered the room.

He relived the day he proposed on the Quidditch pitch. And then their last End of Term Feast, where he proposed for real, in front of the entire school – and she said yes. Their wedding day, with just them, their parents, and the Marauders present – she had looked so unbelievably beautiful, walking down that aisle towards him.

Voldemort raised his wand, an evil smile curling on his face.

Lily's face, the day she told him she was pregnant. Picking her up and swinging her around. Watching her tummy grow bigger and bigger until she had told him one July morning that 'it was time' and they rushed off to St. Mungo's. Seeing Harry born, so tiny, and Lily so exhausted, but content as she watched her husband with their son. Watching Harry play and grow over the past year, looking more and more like James – but with Lily's beautiful eyes – James was so grateful that Harry had Lily's eyes. Being able to go to sleep with Harry in the next room and Lily in his arms, knowing she loved him as much – or almost as much, he sometimes teased her – as he loved her.

The moment the three of them had been having not five minutes ago, just sitting on the couch – James's arm around Lily, Harry in her lap, looking up at his parents. James had leaned over and kissed Lily on the forehead and she had murmured 'I love you' and Harry had made a happy baby sound.

Voldemort's mouth moved and a flash of green light sped across the room.

James didn't care. He knew Harry would grow up to be safe and strong, even if he and Lily weren't there in the physical sense to protect him. He knew they would always watch over him. He knew he and Lily would be together again shortly.

"Lily."

A whisper, and he was gone.


	10. Seven Years With James

So just wanted to inform y'all that I am working on a companion to this from Lily's perspective called _Seven Years With James_ – original, I know. But Year One has already been posted and I wanted to let y'all know since y'all loved this story so much! Enjoy, and thank you for reading _Seven Years With Lily_!


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